Friday, January 30, 2009

At the Sidelines

Stage Number Two

I went to my first Dinagyang over the weekend, and it was different from the Great Masquerade. Last October I was drunk every night, getting home in time for sunrise, and we partied a lot.

This time there was less partying because we had to get up early everyday. First it was the Sicogon Island trip, where I swam for a grand total of 20 minutes. The beach was nice, but it was just too far. Maybe if we didn't have to go back so soon I would have enjoyed it more. It was two something hours by land and another hour or so by boat. Maybe in the future, when the islanders would finally sell to developers. I'm kidding, I hope they don't do that.

Then the Dinagyang parade itself was to be held in the morning (no, I wasn't consulted when they decided on this) so of course, we had to get up very early (but I didn't, I was late) to go to our respective stages to cover. I was lucky I was assigned to the nearest one, but I still had to walk quite a few blocks. I'm not used to exerting much effort so when I saw McDonalds I didn't care if the parade started, I'm having my coffee first.

Then they came in droves, beating their giant drums, and I forgot that my ass was getting numb from sitting on the asphalt.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Over Coffee

abby, originally uploaded by Redjeulle.

Because I don't live at home, I don't see my niece and nephew that often. Which is ok, because I don't have the longest patience in the world. This also makes me miss them, and I want to think they miss me too.

I invited Abby for a drink at Starbucks, where she had her favorite Strawberries & Cream Frap, and I had my Caramel Macchiato. She can be a blast when she's not busy whining over something.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Test Failed

I was writing earlier about how I was blogging at Highway 21 using a stolen password then I ran out of karma and I couldn't connect anymore.

So anyway, I found another wifi spot at our dinner place so I can continue telling you about how my new toy rocks. I'm blogging from my Nokia E71. Yuh huh.

I know I can post pictures but I haven't read the manual yet.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Big, Big Day

The moment I've decided it was like as if a dark cloud was lifted; immediately I felt better and I can breathe evenly. My heart had stopped palpitating and for the first time since I can't remember when, I'm actually excited for what life decides to throw me next.

Wish me luck, I badly need it.

Friday, January 16, 2009


Day 12: Angkor What?, originally uploaded by Redjeulle.

I didn't last two weeks in my Project 365 thing at Flickr, but of all the photos there this is my favorite. I'm posting this to take off the edge of my crappy mood lately.

At the Angkor Wat Temple in Cambodia. If you don't stop for a moment to let things sink in, you'd forget the importance of the ground you're stepping on. This is me staring into space for a bit, otherwise I would just whine about how hot it was in Siem Reap.

August 2008.

Mind Over Matter

I'm happy. I'm content. I'm not an ungracious bitch who doesn't know when to count her blessings. So what if I want to throw up everytime I remember I have to go to work the next day? I'll just breathe through my nose and swallow it back down. So what if it gives me clammy hands and cold sweats. So what if this is eating me from inside out and I'm being declared as someone different by the people who matter? So what, right?

The world is in the brink of a recession and I would be the stupidest person ever to just walk away from all of this. But then again, what about me? I'm not being selfish, I have thought of this for more than a year, yet I'm still here. I can't take the giant leap of faith without breaking any major bone. But it loops in my head nonstop - what if, what if, what if? I don't know who I'm trying to convince, myself or the world. I don't know what would be more stupid, walking away or silently screaming. I don't know. I'd give a kidney just to know what's the right thing to do.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Guilty Pleasures

1. I like sitting on my windowsill while watching DVDs, with a ton of food beside me, or even just coffee and cigs.

2. I watch Cheaters, that TV show where they spy on cheating people and then document the confrontation.

3. I can sleep all day.

4. I watch movies like Mean Girls, Romy and Michelle, and 10 Things I Hate About You over and over again. My favorite is Kat's Hate Poem from 10 Things:

I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car;
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick.
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right;
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh;
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

5. I have erratic eating habits. Some days I eat a lot, some days only once.

6. I like teasing children until they're about to cry.

7. I like it when my spaghetti has too much sauce.

8. I like holding hands secretly. I don't know why.

9. I still play with my stuffed animals.

10. Foot massages are the bomb.

What's your guilty pleasure?

Friday, January 09, 2009

Something's Different in my World Today

Since my last entry I've been sick, like there was a hovering cloud of germs and bacteria above my head that continued to shower me with their kind of blessings. I haven't actually fully recovered from that pre-Christmas bout, but it was manageable. Then it powered up for a second wind, and I was taken hostage inside my room shivering and quivering.

Monday was Jill's birthday party which was, for the most part, rocking. But it was also the last night of Sushi San who was scheduled to fly back to Tokyo the next day, which sent people into terrible mood swings. It's really something else when just earlier there were groping of body parts then the next thing I know there were tears. It's ok, Manila-Tokyo fares have just dropped considerably, but let's see if I can magic enough funds to fund this Sakura Trip. Tokyo is the second most expensive city in the world, the first one being London. That's why it will take a while before I can step foot in either city. I'll probably make use first of whatever visa I have available right now.

(Digression: Cousin in the UK, did you get my voice mail? I got your text message.)

On other things, there's a white elephant in the room, all huge and painfully obvious but for some reason people are pointedly ignoring it and refusing to acknowledge its presence. I don't know why, since I also refuse to look in its general direction. Let the elephant stay there a bit longer, maybe it will vanish, maybe it won't. Let's see.

Monday, January 05, 2009

I Would Like to Pass Out, Please

Why do we continuously live the life of excess and hedonism when on vacation, and because we're utterly dumb we do the same unhealthy things until the last day. The result is what is known as Vacation Hangover, when you need a vacation from vacation. Right now I'm about to pass out from exhaustion (I exaggerate) because all I did over the holidays was go to bed at five in the morning and get up at three in the afternoon.

In between those hours I do one or more of the following: eat, drink, play with the kids (not mine), eat, take naps, watch TV, play LocoRoco, and go out to eat, drink and play. This continued for almost two weeks, then Reality over there decided to sink its murderous fangs and in two blinks I'm back at work. Right now I'm floaty and soft and I can feel my eyelids shutting down without prior notice. I seriously need a day just to veg around the house doing nothing, maybe stare into space for long periods of time just to jumpstart my brain.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Too Early for Melodrama

It's always been said you should never make decisions, or write, when you're angry. Countless curses have been flung because of emotions, and I don't know if any study have been conducted if those curses were made more effective because of the sincerity with which it was said.

It's only the third day of the year and I don't want to start it by cursing people or hating anyone, but it's very very difficult if my patience has been tried for so many times already. I'm not the most patient person in the world, but God do I try to forgive and forget. The operative word being "try". I don't want to hate people, because it's such a strong emotion, and in my opinion it should only be reserved for child molesters and politicians who beat 56-year old men and 14-year old kids at golf courses.

So anyway.

Last night my siblings, in-laws and I played Cranium (thanks Giff, don't hesitate to ask me for moral support in the future) and we ended at four in the morning. It was so much fun, although my brother is a bit of a dimwit with Mindmeld. (Write three things that come to mind for Bridal Shower: Bride, Shower, Macho Man.) I should get a booster pack soon.

Now everyone's left and I'm dreading Monday. Normally I already hate Mondays, but this one is the first Monday of the year, the first working day. That's a triple whammy of dreadfulness that I'm sure so many people don't want to face. It's like the first day of classes without the new school things and that you've been taking that class forever.

Hello 2009. Not much has changed.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

The First Garbage of the Year

First day of the year.

Should I do something superstitious, like jump from the third step of the stairs, or put money in my pocket, or whatever it takes to ensure my good fortune for the rest of the year?

I don't know, I'm still sleepy and I think I have a slight hangover from last night's Piss Drunk Game. We were successful somehow, we all ended up red and blotchy because of all the things to be inherited from my grandfather we get the alcohol intolerance.

Now my cousins are here and we're maximizing the remaining life of my Magic Sing, which had served us well I think. It's now three years old and it's still functioning. My brain feels dry against my skull that composing proper sentences feels like fingernails grating on blackboard.

January 1 is a cliche, it's just another day in this jungle called life (another cliche by the way), made easier by food, drinks and the fact that it's somehow expected to get wasted today. This cliche is wearing me out.