Thursday, January 31, 2008

When the Fan is the Problem

For several weeks my electric fan has been bothering me. It clangs and bangs and it drives me crazy. I wake up in the middle of the night to give it a good kick, and sometimes it shuts up and sometimes it doesn’t.

Granted, in electric fan years it’s kinda old. It just celebrated its third anniversary last January 15. I know because I kept the receipt (it cost 599.95). I bought it when I moved in to my present apartment, together with the lightbulb which, bless it, is still working.

I don’t know squat about fixing stuff that moves, so for many times I thought the kicking was gonna solve the problem. Of course, it only made it worse. So I sat down with the fan and asked what’s the deal here.

It never told me, because frankly if it did I’d have gone from zero to sixty miles per hour in no time. So I looked at it thoroughly – fan blades, cover, buttons, and the back. Bingo.

The back cover seemed to be loose, causing the whole thing to make that funny noise. No, sorry, NOT funny. Irritating, headache-causing, teeth-grinding noise. I got my lone screwdriver (uh huh, I have one and it’s red and has glitters) because I figured if the broken thingy has screws then most probably I need a screwdriver.

But then again stupid people should never hold a screwdriver.

I stuck the screwdriver inside the space between the back and the whatchacall that wire thing that covers the fan blades and – oh my gosh I swear I thought I would die right there and then – it sparked. Like a sharp, scary spark. The fan was still plugged (I know I suck at this), and I thought I smelled something burning. I yanked the plug from the socket, not because it was the sensible thing, but because I don’t know how I’ll explain to my roommate when she gets back how the house got burned.

I just sat there on the floor for maybe like an hour holding the stupid screwdriver and staring at the dead fan. Still, I didn’t give up just yet. Ok, the next thing I will tell you is why I should never ever be let near an electrical outlet.

I got a roll of sticky tape, taped the loose back parts together, and then (are you ready?) I very very carefully plugged the fan AGAIN. Yes, I think I’m immortal and I don’t learn from past mistakes. It didn’t spark or burn or did anything my roommate wouldn’t approve of, so I dare breathed just a little (not breathing makes me woozy), and pressed the #1 button and held my breath again.

The. Fan. Still. Worked. And. No. Annoying. Sound.

So this is why people become electricians. It feels so good to get things to work again. Although don’t expect me to change careers anytime soon.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Bordering on Nonsense

1. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Oh God, yes.
2. What color are the walls of your room?
Mint green, the ultimate in boring colors.
3. When was the last time you saw the last person you had feelings for?
What kind of feelings?
4. If you could push one person off a mountain, who would it be?
Just one person? The list can be long.
5. Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
Folded and Hung.
6. Is anything bothering you right now?
For several days now actually, like a cold clammy hand on my heart. And then I stopped caring.
7. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever heated up in a microwave?
My lip balm.
10. Are you a cuddler?
Bordering on ridiculous.
11. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My heart. Kidding, I just wanted to use that line for the longest time. Nothing hurts, I'm fine.
12. Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
Ohhhh yeah...biggest mistake of my life.
13. Have you ever seen a zebra?
We went to Calauit in Palawan and there zebras just roam around freely. One almost kicked me too.
14. Would you ever date anyone the same sex?
I don't know. Maybe if Angelina Jolie becomes available.
15. If a couple finds out they’re going to have a baby but one of them doesn’t want to, who has the right to decide?
The one who's going to carry the baby.
16. Are you offended by dumb blonde jokes?
17. What are you doing tomorrow?
Bettering the world.
18. Have you ever called your boyfriend/girlfriend hunny?
Technically, no.
19. If you could go back and change something, would you?
To not make the biggest mistake ever.
20. What does your hair look like right now?
Red, short, and dry.
21. Has anyone disappointed you recently?
Dennis Trillo for not calling me when he said he will.
22. Will next weekend be a good one?
Mozzie's relaunching and it's Kitkat's birthday. Good combination.
24. How did you get the idea for your profile name?
It's my name said in another way.
25. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
Anne Klein watch and pearl stud earrings.
26. Look to your right. What’s there?
My cellphone and Kinder Bueno chocolates.
27. Look to your left. What’s there?
Office phone and pencils.
28. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
I would like to say for the record that everything I did was never intended to cause inconvenience to others.
30. What classes do you consider to be nap time?
Social studies and economics.
31. Do you get attached to people easily?
It takes time.
32. Why are you online?
Bakit ka nangengelam?
33. What happened a year ago today?
According to my archives I went to the World Pyro Festival.
34. Have you ever been to Florida?
35. Has a person you dated ever made you cry?
Pag nagmahal ka daw, siguradong masasaktan ka. Leche.
36. Ever driven without your license?
Not ever.
37. What time did you wake up today?
7 am.
38. Are you looking forward to tomorrow?
Sure. It's payday, baby.
39.Where have you worked recently?
I don't want to say.
40. Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
Nobody. I don't know... I can't think of anyone.
41. Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were going out with?
No, not really. I wasn't the ever-after kind of thinker. Even when I say words to the contrary.
42. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
Ang drama ng powtahng tanong na to.
43. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
44. How has your week been?
45. Have you ever been cheated on?
Just the one time and he's now rotting in hell. Yeah, I personally brought him there.
46. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Wrong Number Lola. Makulit na Lola. Crazy Lola.
47. What is your favorite color?
48. Last song you listened to?
Rehab by Amy Winehouse.
49. Did you win the last bet you made?
They (Gab and Fifi) kicked my ass at In-Between.
50. Have you ever had your heart broken?
I think everybody will go through that.
52. Last thing you ate?
53. Do you get late night calls?
54. Are you on drugs?
Define drugs.
55. When was the last time you went to the doctor?
Last week.
56. Are you still with your first love?
Yuck, no.
57. Do you have any medical problems?
Smoking is a medical condition, isn't it?
58. Are you going to a party?
I'm up for anything.
59. What are you excited for?
Boracay with the Alkies and Siquijor with the Gels.
60. What did you do today?
Contemplated on the end of the world.
61. What are you going to do now?
I think I'll let my eyes glaze over.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Pure Hatred

Nobody say anything, no one interrupt me, because for the next paragraphs I will be spewing out senseless rants that I just need to let out otherwise my head will explode. Nothing is personal, I'm not directing any rant to a specific person, so don't be overly sensitive about it that I wake up tomorrow morning to your hate mails.

What the F is up with those hideous jelly shoes? Who decided it's the next in thing? Who said it was pretty that legions of women are now wearing it, utterly convinced that they're cool because they're wearing jelly shoes? It's ugly, and the colors available make them look like somebody pasted dead toenail clippings together to make footwear. Ugh.

Those people on the trains who play their music on loud for the rest of the commuting public to hear, I don't remember telling you to make my music decisions. I don't want to listen to your Sitti, your Kenny G, your Akon, and some other garbage you stored in your phone. Earphones were invented for a reason. Use it.

People who misdial. When at the very start of the conversation I offer information about where you're calling, process that information. Don't ignore it and then still grill me if your "Ate Precy" or "Kuya Babot" is here. Or insist that you're calling the right number. Because you're not, I already told you, so stop dialing the same number five times and then be surprised I still answer. God.

Ok, I'm done. I'm feeling a little better now, less tightness in my chest. This is what's gonna kill me.

Monday, January 28, 2008


With performances from Kaze (Mozzie's BFF), Top Junk (Tuesday sings), Mobster Manila (Giff will dance on the front while they're playing), X Luthor and Juan Pablo Dream (one of my favoritest bands featuring Bing from Pu3ska).

As this is a pajama party, please come in your sleepwear. If you sleep in the nude, that's ok too but please secure necessary permits beforehand.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Friday's Feast I'm Terribly Bored

How many times per day do you usually laugh?
I'm a happy person, so basically every 10 minutes, varying in degrees and classification.

What do your sunglasses look like?
Which one? The Gucci is the artista shades - big and dark - my everyday wear. The Rudy Project (which I won from the Cinemalomo thing) is something with a leopard-print frame, I never used it. The Oakley is a red-framed sports sunglasses, which I wore only once because I'm never sporty.

You win a free trip to anywhere on your continent, but you have to travel by train. Where do you go?
Assuming that trains can travel on water, I would like to go to Japan. I wanna be a Harajuku girl. Right.

Main Course
Name one thing you consider a great quality about living in your town/city.
Pirated DVDs. Hard to find classics, 8-in-1, whole seasons of TV series, porn, and anime. In my defense, I only buy the foreign ones, never Philippine made. Enough said.

If the sky could be another color, what color do you think would look best?
I think the blue sky is perfect as it is, and please God, I want that everyday.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Summer Lovin"

It's coming, it's just around the corner. The days are getting hotter and the sun is getting brighter. It's swimsuit and sunblock season once again, and I have no plans of staying indoors.

If only for this beautiful weather I would never leave this country, ever.

Let's start early, shall we? Boracay, Pulag, Baguio, Pampanga, Dumaguete and Siquijor. And that's only until Holy Week. I'm trying to get as much of this country as possible before time runs out.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Alternative Solutions

I'm glad people read my stuff. Really. While blog stats are only secondary to the pleasures of writing, bloggers always appreciate it whenever other people beside their friends and family read what they write.


More than a few strangers are drawn to this site by googling the five coldest words known to me: How to Kill Your Parents. Sure, it's not always the same thing, it's even more macabre to see something like "how to kill your mother/father", "how to kill your parents and get away with it", and "how to kill the people who gave you life". Yes, I made up the last one.

Although they go direct to that entry where the title is the same thing, and that entry wasn't about any step-by-step instructions on committing murder, it still gets me everytime I see some weirdo make that search.

If you hate your parents that much, just get away from them. Far, far away. Don't see them ever for the rest of your life. Die without knowing what happens to them. Just don't think about such things.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Waste of Sleeptime

I wasn't able to sleep well last night. I had this very strange dream where I was supposed to go to a party but for some reason I had to have all my chinelas accounted for before I could go and enjoy myself.

I went back to the house and counted them, then I found out I was missing a few pairs, so I went around and found that some of them are being scrubbed and cleaned. So I was going through my checklist and only one pair is actually missing, the carnation pink one. Which was weird because I don't own any carnation pink item and I'm sure there were no chinelas made with that sad color.

I kept bugging people if they saw it anywhere, then a friend told me that he let her boyfriend borrow it for a bit because he was barefoot. I was okay with that but I went to see him anyway, and he was all nuh uh this is mine and of course I was all nuh uh it's not yours let me see that you stupidhead, so he showed it to me and true enough it wasn't mine because it said "Havana".

So I dropped it, went back inside again to look for it, then I found this old lady sitting in front of the TV. She asked me what I was looking for, I told her, then she pointed on a shelf above her. The missing pair was there, but after all the trouble I went through, once I found it I didn't want it anymore.

Hit me with your interpretations, however silly. I'm having a decision-making crisis right now and I'm wondering if that dream means something.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Somewhere in the Middle

I feel like I'm boxed in. I'm not sad, but I'm not happy. I feel like my brain will soon rot because of stagnation. I need something intellectually stimulating. I want something different.

I feel I should write, but about what? I can't think of a topic. My brain is constipated. Please give me something to write about, I don't care what. Something complicated and would require more than a little thinking.

I so have ADHD.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Have Some Originality

"Bring it on, 2008! I'm ready for you!"


You see, 2008 doesn't care one little bit whether you're ready or not. It will not knock politely on your front door, wait for you to open, and hope for you to invite him in. No.

Most probably 2008 is that relative you love to hate, the one who crashes all your parties in confidence that since he's there, you might as well take him to the beer and where the food is. But since he's a relative you can't yell at him to get out the house and to stop cuddling the booze. You tolerate him, hoping he'll get sloshed early and pass out in the bathroom.

The tolerance isn't without reason, because at his best 2008 is generous, kind, and his friends are cute. He's the relative who gives you cash as Christmas gift, so you can spend it on whatever you want. He just lets you be, because he knows he doesn't have a hold on you. But he's staying anyway, and when he leaves you'll be a little sad and nostalgic and full of memories.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Ninety-Five Percent True

What Redjeulle Means

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Friday's Feast in the Twilight Zone

What is your middle name? Would you change any of your names if you could? If so, what would you like to be called?
Your Royal Highness might be good but no, I like my name. Although nothing beats Princess Consuela Bananahammock.

If you were a fashion designer, which fabrics, colors, and styles would you probably use the most?
No tulle, definitely. I don't know much about fabrics but I think for summer I'll go with bright green and hot pink accents. I also don't like formal shorts, so I hope that's gonna be out soon. Maybe I'll bring back sundresses with a different twist. Don't believe me too much, I don't have any idea about fashion design.

What is your least favorite chore, and why?
Laundry and ironing. I despise doing them.

Main Course
What is something that really frightens you, and can you trace it back to an event in your life?
Bulate fever. Ask Pam. Fine, I'll tell you. I'm dead scared of earthworms. In highschool some snotty idiot threw one at me and it landed on my neck. I was so scared and disgusted I had fever for two days. Until now I scream my lungs off whenever I see one.

Where are you sitting right now? Name 3 things you can see at this moment.
My own 4 sq, ft. of pure unadulterated fluorescent lighting. Where else would I be? Three things would be computer, phone, and a noose for hanging myself in the future. Other things include stack of CDs, gremlin papers (they multiply), and the occasional person with no sense of direction, i.e. lost.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I Thought I Was Dead So I Slept

Then I wasn't able to wake up on time. When I opened my eyes it actually hurt to see light, and my head felt like it weighed a ton.

I thought back to the previous night whether I've been partying again (although believe it or not if you count all the beers I drank in 2007 I doubt if it even reached a dozen bottles), but no, I distinctly remember going to bed at 9pm(!) because I felt wobbly. I seriously thought there was an earthquake again.

But no, I just had a fever and some throat thing which tied me to my room, just hugging my Maki for company. The freaking Gilmore Girls DVD will just play on my laptop. I guess I'll take that than just staring into space.

In other news, I actually came up with 10 Ways to Rock 2008. If you want the longer version, let me know.

Monday, January 07, 2008

This Officially Closes the Holiday Season

Happy birthday Jill! Thanks for the invite (to Lomomanila), the darkroom sessions, the film samples, the sleepovers, the food, and the friendship.

Now will the Alkies please close their eyes and lie down for at least three straight days? That past week has sucked up all my white blood cells.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Meet Joaquin the Tiger Cub

Obviously I'm still in the free wifi zone, and with nothing substantial to say except post pictures because pictures paint a thousand words and I can't even generate 10 ways to rock 2008. I'm such a loser.

So that's Joaquin, now 2 months old and punching people. Someday he'll be a real tiger.

Being a Night Person

For some people it's quite inconceivable to get home after midnight. Maybe they'll do it twice a year but never on weekdays, and most probably the reason would be unusually heavy traffic.

And for some people, whose motto is "The best stuff happens after midnight", it's equally inconceivable to arrive somewhere before 8pm. Nothing happens at eight, it's early and nobody cool is there anyway.

For the nocturnals it's normal to get to bed at four in the morning, whether you staggered home reeking of alcohol or just been catching up with the DVD backlog (which reminds me of the growing stack I have at home). I will never understand why some people are so perky in the mornings, whereas I need my moments of staring into space while having my caffeine fix. Without the two I am not human.

So here I am taking advantage of other people's wifi at an ungodly hour. Why I'm not sleeping is my business. I'm waking up in a different bed this time.

Friday, January 04, 2008

We Clean Up Really Nicely

For Michelle and Kenji's wedding the Alkies trooped to Sonya's Garden. In dresses and heels. Really.

Here's Michelle and Kenji after the ceremony. They look like Barbie and Ken, Tokyo Drift. Kidding.

And here are the alkies all dressed and made up.

Best wishes to the newlyweds!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Happy Birthday Fifi!

December 31, 2007. Who said you can't party when your birthday falls on New Year's Eve?

Because we're so happy. Or sugar high. Or both. Who cares.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

If You Had a Lame Party That's Not my Fault

Have you ever been to a Lomomanila Christmas Party? No?

You know, with all the bands and the jamming and the singing and the dancing? With Coke snorting out of my nose because of something very gross and funny? And with someone giving out sex rings as Christmas gifts? And me standing on a chair to dance and headbang, then realizing that although I'm standing on a chair I'm just two inches taller than Jonas?

Not really?

Ok, what about the time Eraserheads, Parokya, Imago and the Ronnies jammed to Melt With You and Boys Don't Cry? You didn't see that either? And the eating of pizza and buffalo wings and balut and stuff?

Man, you should have been there. It was effin' A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

Pictures stolen from other people below.

Pictures credit (Digital for now):
At Maculangan

And the Dawn Arrived Telling Me It's a New Day

It's 2008.

The other day it's only 2007 and I blinked and it's 2008.

I don't know what to hope for this year, or what to expect, because the past year's been so abso-fuckin-lutely amazing that it will be a little hard to top it. Well, not really hard, but if 2007 has been an acid trip, what then could beat an acid trip?

I don't know guys, you think it over, I still have a lot of holiday cholesterol lodged between my brain cells.

Oh yeah, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

More posts to follow.