Thursday, December 27, 2007

I Still Suck on Virtual Space

My arm still hurts from throwing all those balls. I mean tennis balls, baseballs, golf balls, bowling balls, and pingpong balls. I also got punched and so I punched back. All these happened in three hours at the most.

Last night after updating Red (let me tell you about Red in another entry) Fifi set up the Wii. Immediately Chrissie and I went about smashing tennis balls at each other, and for a moment I was glad I didn't actually have to run the width of the court like in real life. The pleasure was short lived however because as in real life I kept smashing the balls out of court, and there were just too many times that I hit the air. At least I didn't get sunburn.

We tried bowling, but my throws kept going left. I don't understand how that stupid game was mimicking my real throws. I lost again. Golfing was fun, but Wii eventually told me to give up because on a par 5 I was on my 11th stroke. God, I don't even know what's a triple bogey. Baseball, I was hopeless. No, really. They pitched me ten balls and I didn't hit even one. Ask Fifi, it's true.

Boxing, well, I was KO'd like three times and I really did try. But it was fun, and a good cardio workout. Now, I'm thinking -- can I justify the cost of the Wii to replace annual gym membership? Of course, we pay a pittance for the gym here, but if I enrolled at Fitness First or Gold's wouldn't it be the same as what I would pay for the Wii?

I'm just thinking.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Start Them Young, They Say



This is Abby Doodle Peanut Butter Puddlywumpers, age 1 and 3 months.

And that hideous thing she sleeps with is her best friend in the whole wide world, Crocodile. She bumps head with it and kisses it and hugs it tight.

I don't know what is it with this child that she's attracted to toys that don't really fall under the Cute category. One of the gifts she received this Christmas was an ugly stuffed monkey and frog, because the legend of the crocodile spread far and wide. She absolutely loved the monkey, now named Skippy. Which reminds me of Eone's toy monkey, Hostage. Named such because said monkey was always trapped in the car when Eone's mother was pregnant with her.

Abby can't sleep without Crocodile, and we sing "Love Crocodile" to prevent her from going to Phase Drive-Them-All-Crazy-For-No-Reason-At-All. That song was probably composed by her parents because it has no chorus or refrain or fixed rhythm, you just keep singing "Love Crocodile" over and over again.

Yesterday while she was busy "slicing" the frog (with a toy knife, ok), a feature about Super Croc came up on National Geographic. I made her watch what real crocodiles are up to, like I don't know, eating other animals in an uncivilized manner. But she liked it. She liked it when the crocodile dove into the swamp to sneak up on some deer, grabbed the deer by the jugular and dragged it to the water to drown it first. She kept laughing and pointing at the crocodile and Crocodile.

I even demonstrated how Crocodile can eat Skippy and frog, but I don't think she got it. Now where can I get a toy anaconda and saber-toothed tiger to add to her increasing collection of exotic animals? I was thinking of getting her a Morbie doll, maybe the manananggal one.

Monday, December 24, 2007

In This Season of Supposed Joy and Gift Giving

Hi. I haven't posted a lot lately that I might have to remind you that I own this blog and I'm the person who writes all these nonsense. Yeah, I'm the Crazy Lady Who Didn't Buy Gifts This Christmas.

It's not that I don't want to give, it's just that I lose all merriment and the will to live whenever I see the Christmas shopping crowd. Have you seen them lately? They are the cause behind the Humongous Traffic Jams experienced all over the metro. Year after year I was part of it, toting too many shopping bags outnumbering my limbs 10:1.

This year I decided not to. I just didn't buy anything. Yeah, the high and mighties out there would just say, "that's what you get for not starting your Christmas shopping early, like September." But that's not what normal people do, right? Right?

It's refreshing, not cramming my gift wrapping until the dawn of the 24th. I have time to watch Gilmore Girls and the art films I don't understand (seriously, who got Ten Minutes Older: The Trumpet and The Cello?). But it's also kind of sad, like I'm missing out on something. Some stupid thing gnaws at my shriveled heart whenever I see people with wrapped gifts in their person.

So...yeah, I give in. I still have a few hours to raid the stores. Let's just hope my ATM survives everything.

Maybe the next time I'll pass up on Christmas is when I'm 90 and senile.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Big Bird Nests



I like going to weddings. Aside from the production number it entails while getting ready (the search for the perfect dress, shoes, hair and makeup) it's also a happy occasion. It's a celebration of love and the belief in Forevers and Ever Afters, even if for some of us those are very foreign concepts.

Congratulations Big Bird and Mr. Big Bird, I wish you all the best as you start your new life together. I'm sure you will have beautiful children even if the Gels will not be there to offer you unsolicited advice about pregnancy (it gives you stretch marks) and childbearing (labor really really hurts they say), and the area we are all very experienced in, parenting (make them earn their keep).

We can also offer you rare advice in cooking (don't eat your own recipes), keeping house (don't litter so you don't have to clean), and gardening (it's illegal and not fun at all and the plants still die anyway), because I heard househelp is very expensive in New Zealand.

Having said all that, can we crash when we visit Middle Earth?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

What is Lomography?



Play the video to get your answer.

Starring Francis Inton, Bibay Cordero, Zoe Ezequiel, Francis Gaerlan, and Bong Rojales.

Documentary by JC Gepte. Watch out for my picture. I'm there somewhere.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

It's Ordinary for Some People

I don't have a car. That doesn't stop me however from dreaming of them. I'm your typical girl when it comes to cars, like I don't care about the engine power or how fast it runs or some other thingamajiggies attached to it. I base my judgments on how cool they look.

Based on my almost non-existent criteria, my dream car is the Porsche Boxster, preferably in red. I'll take any color though. I don't know how much it costs, from the looks of it one might have to pull several bank jobs to get the money. I would like to clarify that eventhough I previously said that I would like a RAV4, the Porsche is my dream because there's a 99.999999 % percent that I will not get one in this lifetime. It would be like Brad Pitt turning up on my doorstep begging for my unconditional love. The RAV4 would not even be Dennis Trillo in this metaphor. It would be the guy I see everyday who looks kinda cute and smart.

So, one day while I was walking through the office parking lot, I saw IT. A shiny black Porsche Boxster parked nonchalantly beside a BMW. A Porsche. Boxster. My car. In black. The owner, who probably has 365 million times more money than I have, is just using it for everyday transportation. He wakes up in the morning, gets the car out of the garage, drives it to the office and just leaves it in the parking lot. Just like that.

It pains me, you know.


Friday, December 14, 2007

Friday Chorvalens

Appetizer
Make up a word and give us its definition.
Pakinangshet. It’s a very bad word.

Soup
What is currently your favorite song?
Love is a Losing Game and Tears Dry on Their Own by Amy Winehouse. She has such an amazing voice that it’s hard to believe it comes from a four-foot something woman.

Salad
What’s at the top of your Christmas wish list this year?
Wish: Horizon Perfekt. Hope: Books and perfume.

Main Course
Name a scent that reminds you of someone special in your life.
Aaaahhhh… this is a tough one. Tommy Girl reminds me of X, Escada Sentiments(?) of XX, and the cheap Bench colognes of XXX. Cigar smoke (Bataan matamis) reminds me of Bai, my paternal grandmother.

Dessert
Who is someone on television that you feel probably shouldn’t be, and why?
Okaaaayyy… do we have enough space? The Sexbomb Dancers, the Star Quest (Circle?) winners, Kim Chiu, Sandara Parks, the Big Brother winners, Yasmin, Rainier, Bong Revilla, Jinggoy Estrada, etc. They irritate the hell out of me.

Please Don’t Scare Me Like That Again

A very good friend was recently admitted to the hospital. After blood tests, it was found out that her Hcg levels are way off the charts, and cancer was suspected.

I couldn’t breathe.

Cancer is something that happens to other people. People I know, sure, but people who are several degrees connected to me. The mother of a friend, friend of a friend. But never people I love. I hear battle stories all the time, but it’s always something of a hearsay. It’s never first-hand information, never a personal account of the warrior himself.

My grand-aunt survived cervical cancer in her 40’s, but she’s now 80 and I wasn’t even a speck in the horizon when that happened. She never talked about it either.

Fortunately, after several more tests and an operation, it was found out that it’s actually another thing that caused all the pain and bleeding. It wasn’t a good thing they found out, but I’ll take anything other than something terminal. She’s now doing fine, and when I heard that it’s not the big C I actually cried from relief.

My relationship with this person was never emotional. We rant and whine and laugh together, but never cried. She’s a friend who knows my secrets and I know hers, and although we know all those darker side of things we never judged each other. I didn’t realize she meant that much to me until the threat of the disease came.

I now think of those who actually lost their loved ones to the big C, or those still struggling to survive it. My prayers are with you all. I can now say that I have at the very least, an inkling of what you have or been going through.

And please Lord, if my time comes, I want to go with a bang. I can take dying from an explosion or drowning or being poisoned, but not from a drawn-out death from a disease. From the options I presented, it seems I prefer to be murdered.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Far From Being All Merry and Shit

I'm not really absorbed in my own little world. My life is not all about the traveling and the picture taking and the sending of evil cabbies to hell. What I Did to Change the World, Inquirer 2Bu section, 12 December.

Check out the other articles, it will warm your blackened little heart.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

It's Not Friday and I Don't Care

Appetizer
What was the last game you purchased?
Taboo, but it was given to me by a friend. Complete with Christmas marshmallows and hot sauces with messages, which confused me, because some of them said "Will You Marry Me?" and the others just said "High Five!". The package also came with a bloody finger.

Soup
Name something in which you don’t believe.
Anything said by a politician. If they said the world is round, I would believe it to be square. If there is any justice in the world, all of them should have burst into flames by now.

Salad
If you could choose a celebrity to be your boss, who would you pick?
No, sorry, I will not work for celebrities. Except for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt maybe (they're soooo pretty), if they don't mind the staring and the drooling.

Main Course
What was a lesson you had to learn the hard way?
That stupidity in large numbers should never be underestimated. Seriously, gather a number of stupid people and you'll be amazed at what they're capable of. Stupidity in single digits are annoying at best, but on a really good day you might consider chlorinating the gene pool.

Dessert
Describe your idea of the perfect relaxation room.
Bed, masseuse on call, food, TV and DVD player with a stack of really great DVDs, a bookshelf with all of my favorite books, and the room should have a lanai. Jacuzzi and/or tub optional.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Sausalitos

I just got my Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Chunk Milk Chocolate Macadamia Cookies, and if you've ever tasted it you'd understand why there are only two left in the bag.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Rockefeller Center, NY



Chos. Charing. Eastwood, Libis. Taken by Jonas after the album launch of Parokya ni Edgar.

Taken by the stupid Horizon Perfekt. Stupid because I can't afford it. It costs as much as my DSLR, fuckitfuckitfuckit.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

The Other Movies

Cinemalomo is over, and aside from Half, here are the other movies (can't find the others):

Expired, from FPJ (Fifi, Pam, Jill) Productions. Starring Gifaloo as a sex-crazed stuffed animal, and Ping Medina (!) as Giff's owner who shredded him to bits because he got too annoying. Kidding. That is actually the plot of our upcoming joint collaboration together with the Alkies, the movie will be called Death of Goofy, or Die, Goofy, Die.
Foot Loop by Mon Guinto. Feet fetish.
WonderWall by Mon Guinto. Because there are always walls.
Juan de la Lego by Fozzy Castro and Chips Dayrit, our actors in Half. Digitally shot but all worth it.

I hope they post BDSL and KF so you can watch the very daring Ms. Allah Katipunanstar. We're hoping to have a public screening in Fully Booked, but I don't know when that will be. Enjoy the movies!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

New Music

A lot of Lomomanila members are very talented musically. I'm not one of them. So let me take a moment to mention the following:

The Mozzie EP: Dried to Pseudo-Perfection was launched on that fateful night when the Manila Peninsula Hotel was disgraced. Now where would get our gigantic ice cream fixes? But I digress. This CD is very close to my heart for several reasons. First, the band members are my friends. Second, I lovingly inserted every cover, as part of the assembly line at the folding party. Third, as Pam would tell you, the CD is a collaborative effort of everyone I've known as the Alkies. We've had a lot of shared times together, most of them involving alcohol, yes, but all of them fun. Yukata parties, Enchanted Kingdom, very very late nights, moments of panic during blackouts at Carriedo station, staying away from K-9s at the airport, altered perceptions, and too much information. Please buy the CD so you can listen to the wonderful wonderful songs of Mozzie (I swear on Bolgia Six), plus you can see our pictures on the inside cover, where I look like Joker. Damn you FG.


Tuesday Vargas sings the vocals for Top Junk, their single The In Crowd is now enjoying airtime. Tuesday is mostly known for her comedic antics on TV and the movies, but she can also hit that high note.



This last one doesn’t need any promoting or whatever, but Parokya ni Edgar has come out with their latest album Solid. Last night at the album launch they mentioned something about this being their 10th album, but I’m not really sure because I was busy trying to get Giff to hang himself on a rope. The one in the middle wearing a lomo shirt is Gab (ah, spread the love), who exchanged frames with me for the Christmas party. The song Don’t Think was written by him as his Go, Lomo! song.

Support your local artists and get a copy of the albums now! Since Parokya is signed up with a major recording label, you can get them at any record store nationwide. If you want a copy of Mozzie or Top Junk, email me or comment here and we’ll arrange something.

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* Ok, so the last pic is not the Parokya ni Edgar album cover, but I can't find the new one anywhere. That pic is by Chrissie during the Lomolove Too Closing Party. Yeah, Gab's not wearing his lomo shirt. I promise to take it down once Solid is uploaded.