Thursday, August 31, 2006

Rhythm is Gonna Get You

I just came from watching the company's annual dance concert. The Dance Guild stages these concerts as a kind of recital for those who joined the summer dance workshop.

They were good, and dance numbers are always entertaining. They did the tango, belly dance, jazz, hip hop, ballet (sorta), and disco dancing. I liked the disco dancing best; sometimes I feel I should have lived the prime of my life in the 70's, there's just so much happening even if there is the Martial Law hanging over their heads.

I just realized how much I miss dancing. I can't even remember the last time I went. Maybe because of the proliferation of house music; I can't dance to something that reminds me of passing out.

I just want to dance, you know, from the gut. I want to move my body how the music tells me to. It doesn't have to be elaborate steps or difficult choreography, just moving to the music. I like to believe that I got rhythm, that I can move properly to the music. I am not in any chance great, oh no, but baby, I betcha I can dance.

That buzz I feel when I'm in the treadmill is nothing, nothing compared to the buzz when dancing. It's a way of interpreting the song other than singing it. But I can't do the choreographed thing, where I have to move in time with other people doing the same exact move. Can't remember the steps.

Somebody please take me dancing.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Velveteen Rabbit


I got this from Ali's blog. I haven't read The Velveteen Rabbit but this excerpt made me think.

Excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit
By Margery Williams

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room.

"Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

------

I'm getting that book. I want to be Real someday.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Ang Pagtataksil


Paminsan-minsan, minsan lang naman, sumasagi sa isip ko na magtaksil kay Dennis Trillo.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Friday's Feast 108

Appetizer
If you could have a free subscription to magazine, which one would you like to have?
This could take a while, I cannot choose only one. I would like to have Popular Photography, Cosmopolitan, Time, People, Newsweek, and Us Weekly. A good mix of the informative and tabloidal, with a smattering of the shallowness that inhibits us all.

Soup
Describe your living room (furnishings, colors, etc.).
Nothing great, nothing unusual. It's just a white linoleum with mint green walls and black furniture. Whatever statement we are trying to make is not getting through -- either that or it's not relevant enough. Besides, it's not mine. Assuming that I have the money and the help to keep it clean, my living room would consist of a large comfy couch (not leather and not denim), several throw pillows, a plush carpet, a tall lamp I can dim, bean bags, books and magazines, and a home entertainment system. Maybe a big dog, if it's fully trained. Dennis Trillo would also be nice in my living room. And bedroom.

Salad
What does the shape of a circle make you think of?
A lot of things. Something to color. A baby's face. The never ending cycle of life and misery.

Main Course
Name 3 things in your life that you consider to be absolute necessities.
Food, clothing and shelter. To be absolutely materialistic, I guess it would have to be my cellphone, computer with Internet access, and my ATM (assuming it's not empty). On a different perspective, my three absolute necessities would be taking a shower, my bed, and my current home entertainment system which consists of a hand-me-down TV and a pirated DVD player. And DVDs of course.

Dessert
What was the last really funny movie you watched?
Haven't had the chance to watch a lot of movies recently. But I remember laughing my ass off at Tanging Ina, it's really funny when you watch it for the first time. For English films, it's weird that I can't recall any. First thing that comes to mind is Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels but that was a lifetime ago.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

In Limbo

Are we or are we not?

Some things are better left unsaid, but it's just so confusing. I am this close to exploding.

But before I do that, I'm just going to sue somebody.

Meanwhile, I want these.



Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Crossing the Line

I'm only one step ahead of heartbreak
one step ahead of misery
one step is all I have to take backwards,
to be the same old fool for you
I used to be
I'm only one step ahead of your arms
one kiss away from your sweet lips
I know I can't afford to stop for one moment
Cos I'm just out of reach of your fingertips
Your warm breath on my shoulder
Keeps reminding me
That it's too soon to forget you
It's too late to be free, can't you see?
I'm only one step ahead of your love
I try and yet I can't take two
Seems like I'll have to take that one step backwards
Cos one step ahead is a step too far away from you.
Cos one step ahead is a step too far away from you.
Just one step ahead is a step too far away from you.

- One Step Ahead, Aretha Franklin

Must. Control. Self.

"Where were you when I called five minutes ago?"

I replied "I was running some errands."

What I would really like to say: "Out partying. Yeah. At nine in the morning."

"For whom?'

"For {boss' name}."

What I would really like to say: "For somebody equally important as you."

I need fresh doses of diplomacy and self-control.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Need...Energy...

I haven't had a chance to get decent rest since I arrived from vacation. I've been working late every single day, and man, am I tired. Right now all I want is to just plop in bed and sleep, but no, I still have that Everest of documents to plow through.

To top it all I'm typing this with the keyboard on my front and the monitor on my right. Ergonomics is a myth.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Everyone, I Would Like You to Meet the Object of My Desire


Tingnan mo naman yan, kundi ka maloka.

Friday's Feast 107

Soup
If you could wake up tomorrow with full training in another occupation and a job in that field, what would it be?
An award-winning Hollywood actress earning $20 million per picture. Hey, it comes with full training, right? So I assume I deserve that pay. But without all the shit that comes with being a big celebrity, I'm not a big fan of drugs.

Salad
How many times in your life have you had the flu (or something similar)?
Maybe once a year, I'm prone to sickness like that. The viruses stage a full production inside my body every time; they even let the understudies perform and sometimes they do an encore. They also never gave me a discount even though I'm such a frequent customer.

Main Course
What is something that has happened to you this week that you didn't expect?
Nothing really. Everything that happened was kind of simmering in the back burner for a while now. But being betrayed is still a kick in the gut that kinda leaves you breathless, whether you expect it or not.

Dessert
How old were you when you had your first kiss?
First real kiss? I was 18 and he was 22. I gave my heart to him on a silver platter and he promptly spit on it. And that is to be the cycle of all my succeeding lovelifes in the years to follow. They got creative over the years though, spitting on it was not enough; they stomped on, kicked, shredded, and chopped my heart into a million pieces. What's a girl to do?

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Moonlight Over Paris

In pursuit of the Great French Dream -- sitting in a cafe in Paris sipping cafe au lait, wearing trenchcoats and stiletto boots, with a French poodle dyed a hideous pink beside us -- the Gels and I enrolled in French 1.

It was my first session today, and now I'm armed with the ability to tell people in French where I was last Sunday, and whether I am in London for work or for school. I can also introduce myself as Monsieur Leroy to Cora, because I am looking for Thomas Fonteneu.

So don't mess with me, I can either say hi or tell you what your mother is with a mere manipulation of the air in my throat.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Changes in my Life

Friend 1: So, you're like this really ugly caterpillar that turned into a butterfly. Bongga.
Friend 2: Tangek, she's like a basilisk that shed her old skin, but in the end she's still a basilisk.

Why am I friends with these people?

Friday, August 11, 2006

Friday's Feast 106

Appetizer
Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.
I had this weird doll, her name was Negra because she was well, negra. She was a little black baby girl, except she doesn't have super curly hair. Instead, she had straight black hair in pigtails. Eventually her pigtails came off (I took it off) but her hair stayed up in two sections, sort of like when a walis tambo gets worn, you know how it divides the middle? Like that. I also remember she had stumps for fingers and toes, but that's because I "trimmed" her nails with a nail cutter. She wasn't my favorite but I made it a point to play with her everyday because I thought she would feel bad if I didn't, and she might think it was because of her skin color. Of course it was not.

Soup
If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?
Education. But then again people might not take it seriously because it's free. They should just impose punishments if students don't finish a course. Wi-fi should also be free. I still haven't used Maki's wi-fi, because places who have free wi-fi charges $5 for coffee. Uhm, are you freaking kidding?

Salad
Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?
Too embarrassing to reveal here. I'd say more than the times I think about the state of my bank account, and if you knew the state of my bank account you'd be obsessing about it too.

Main Course
What is something you believe in 100%?
I really don't know. Maybe I can believe in the assurance that the sun will come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun. Seriously, I don't think I'm capable of dumping all my faith on one thing. If it all collapses I wouldn't have anything left.

Dessert
Name one thing you have done this week that you would consider a "good deed."
Killing a cockroach. Yey. I'm Erin Brockovich.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Cycle

Last night, I finally made use of my super cheap gym membership here at the office. Actually, the real reason was I wanted to try out my new Gym Mix iPod playlist. Well, it worked but I'm taking off Eminem and adding the Pussycat Dolls.

I was hesitant at first to enter the gym because I don't want to be huffing and puffing beside certified gym freaks, those who barely break a sweat while running a level 8 on the treadmill. I hardly even ran, just a few short bursts of jogging then I go back to speed walking. Hey, I last stepped on a treadmill like two years ago so unclench your toned gluteus maximus, I have to warm up.

Running (slowly), with 2Pac blasting on my ears at full volume, it was a great feeling. I forgot the exhiliration brought on by adrenalin rushing at my veins, faster than the speed I'm running. This is why people who exercise don't get suicidal; exercise produce endorphins and endorphins make you happy. (I would like to quote Ms. Elle Woods here, but I researched it and it is in fact, true.)

So I ran/walked for an hour, at which point I thought my legs were slowly turning to rubber. My shirt was half-soaked and I was chasing my breath. By the way, after you run on a treadmill for a while, don't step out immediately. Not good.

Maybe I'll go again next week and have another buzz.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Friday's Feast 105

Appetizer
Name an actor or actress you think is totally underappreciated.
All those character actors that we always see peripherally but never gets the credit they deserve. John Arcilla, Pen Medina, Caridad Sanchez, etc. They can act with their eyes closed. They can be goody-two-shoes, or evil, or somewhere in between. And that is why they have more movies than all those big stars put together.

Soup
Impress us by using a big word in a sentence.
How dare you accuse me of freeloading, that is preposterous!

Salad
What is something inanimate that you've given a name to (such as a pet rock)?
Maki the (i)Mac. Sven the phone. And all those various stuffed animals lying around the house.

Main Course
What color would best represent your personality and why?
Red, always have been. It's life, strength, courage, festivity, and good luck. I have been aptly named.

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: ____________ is so ____________.
Love is so overrated.

Egocentric

I know I should go to Washington.
Someday.
#################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### #################################################### ####################################################
Your personality type is RCUEI
You are moderately social, moderately calm, unstructured, egocentric, and moderately intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Reno, Tucson, New Orleans, Norfolk, Austin, Washington DC, Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Portland/Salem, Greenville/Spartanburg, Minneapolis, Denver, St. Louis and these international countries/regions Iceland, Greece, Argentina, Czech Republic, Belgium, Kazakhstan, Poland, Netherlands, Spain, Croatia, Sweden, Slovenia, Norway, Hungary, Indonesia

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Half Human, Half Pure Evil

Recently I have been on a war path against people who have no consideration. And some people who are just mean.

Last week, I was still recovering from my bout with the flu but I thought I was well enough to get out of bed and go to the office. I rode the MRT going to work and it was crowded as hell that morning, with the rains and all. There was this lady fanning herself like the sun was about to descend to earth and she's going to burst into flames any moment. Her fan was hitting my hair and my face and it kinda hurt, so I told her she was hitting me already. She acted like she didn't hear me and kept on fanning in speed number 3. By the third time I spoke up and our situation hasn't changed, I really lost it. The train stopped and the door opened, so I grabbed the fucking fan that was the source of the welts forming on my cheek and threw it out the door, just as it was closing.

I won't elaborate anymore on what happened next, just that she stopped bugging me.

Two days later, Banana and I are waiting for a cab home. It was raining and many people were also trying to flag down taxis. Finally, one stopped for us, and as Banana was negotiating with the driver, this Miss Universe (1945) in a mini skirt came strutting down toward the cab and just plopped her mighty ass in the backseat. Nice.

I am a diplomatic person so I tried "Miss, kami pumara ng taxi" very nicely. She didn't even look at me. I swear I wanted to pull her out of the cab by the hair; instead, I held on to the door so she couldn't close it. She pulled and I pulled and she glowered and I glared but I didn't let go. At least until Banana said to just let her go, I forgot she was even there. So I did but I swore nobody would ever do that me again.

Then a couple of days ago I was again waiting for a cab because I was already late and there were no FXs around. Same thing happened, I flagged down a cab and this...this creature came out of nowhere and sat down on the front seat. I could feel the blood rushing to my ears.

Still, I tried my line. Fucker didn't even look at me. I don't know what possessed me but I opened the door to the backseat, sat down and closed the door. The driver didn't know what to do. He asked if he should both take us to where we're going.

I would type the whole exchange but here are just the juicy parts:

C: Siguro nakisakay ka lang kasi magpapalibre ka.
Me: Sabihin mo ulit yan hahampasin talaga kita ng payong.
C: Taga {name of TV station} ako, ang asawa ko sa {name of government office}.
Me; Owenongayon??? Tawagan mo lahat ng general na kakilala mo. I-dial mo na ngayon, sige hihintayin ko. Ano wala kang number? At ano naman ang sasabihin mo, hello general, inagawan ako ng taxi, huhuhu...God, I'm so scared, takot na takot ako miss, nanginginig pa.
C: Misis na ko.
Me: Oh really! Somebody married you?
Creature showed her Media ID to the driver.
Me: O, yung iba mo pang ID pakita mo pa sa kanya. Yung lisensya mo pakita mo rin. May CV ka ba dyan? Pakita mo rin.

If there is anything I really hate, it's name dropping. When you get into trouble, get out of it yourself. You don't have to invoke somebody important's name every time you get into a snit. They probably don't care who you are anyway. To them you are just a sniveling little parasite not worthy of their time.

So I've used up my evilness quota for the month, I guess I'll try to be nice now.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Lethargic

There are days when getting up is like fighting the Trojan War. The mere act of opening my eyes is a fight between good and evil; the good being I would get a few more blissful moments of sleep if I keep them shut, the evil is I would see all the bad things in this world if I get up and go out.

Every little movement takes an awful amount of willpower. It's swimming against the current. When I finally gather the strength to throw off the covers and leave the blessed comfort of my bed, every muscle in my body screams out in protest.

With eyes barely open, I sit in the bed trying to find my slippers with my left foot while the right one refuse to move. Finally I stand up and walk toward where my towel is, yank it off the hook and rip it in the process. Fucking cheap JP Stevens knockoff.

I open the door and start to go down the stairs, one painful step at a time, all the while holding on to the banister because I had the misfortune to miss a step once and it was not a pretty sight.

I drag myself to the bathroom, grunting "get me hot water" to the yaya and snarling at her if she makes me repeat it. I am not a morning person, and it's worse on days like this.

I start my morning rituals slowly, just putting toothpaste on my toothbrush requires great concentration. Finally I get to shampooing my hair, my fingers can't make my hair lather because they won't move. I go through the motions, but I can fall back to sleep anytime during the the process.

Then I come up to my room and do just that. Sweet dreams.