Thursday, April 27, 2006

First Attempts Almost Always Suck




I bought a Cybersampler camera, loaded 400 film, then shot away. Then this is what I saw out of 36 effing shots.

To think that I MANUALLY loaded, advanced, and rewound the stupid film. All those for nothing.

My birthday party pics were in there, too. Thank God for backup digital cameras.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Thundercat na ko

All those jokes I made on older people -- the thundercats, majonda, amoy baul, etc. etc. Well, I'm halfway there. Considering the current life expectancy of Filipino females, I am inching my way towards that age when my limbs would be too brittle to run after that cab, my hearing going down so I can't hear Kris gossip anymore, and my sight being too bad I can't tell who's fugly and who's not.

When I was 14 I thought 19 was, like, way ooold, dude. At 20, I cringed when I hear about being 30. Now, 35 isn't that bad anymore, because from experience, I'm there in two blinks.

It was a hell of a ride coming to this number. There were lessons learned and it was lots of fun, and in hindsight, I wouldn't change anything. I might have felt like quitting at some points of my very colorful life, but now I have come to that point where I can look back and wonder what the hell was I thinking back then. And I am thankful for that.

Last night, I pondered over what I am now and what I could have been. Had I tried harder, moved slower, was more patient and persevering, or if I just took a step back -- what would my life be like?

I don't know, and I never will, so I just grabbed chips and Coke and watched a whole season of Friends until my eyeballs popped out.

I fell asleep knowing there's still so much ahead of me. Then B came and woke me up, and we waited for midnight together.

I wasn't alone when I crossed over.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Wish List #2 - Cheaper Gift Options

Ok, I have to admit, I don't have that many rich relatives. The ones who are truly loaded probably haven't even heard of me ever, much less give me a laptop. So I'm going to be realistic this time. To my friends, you can all afford this, and you know I love you guys.

1. Slippers, any kind and color. I have a kalyo on a toe that I'm trying to vanish.
2. Cologne or perfume. I like to smell different everyday.
3. A funky mouse pad.
4. No-spill mug.
5. Decorative magnets for my workstation.
6. A 300-CD rack.
7. Bookstore/Spa gift certificate.
8. Rolls of film, preferably Fuji.

You might think I'm kapal in publishing my wish list here, but hey, I'm gonna be 30 and I deserve it. You'll have your turn someday.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Wish List

In case my (relatively) rich relatives are reading this blog, here is a list of gifts I want (some are really needs) on my birthday:

  1. Tungsten T2 or T3, I don't care, as long as it has bluetooth. I don't even know what they look like, I just hear about them.
  2. iPod Nano (black). I want to sell my Jurassic iPod.
  3. New cellphone, or money to repair my k700i. The keypad is stuck from playing PuzzleBobble.
  4. A laptop, any brand, model 2005 and later. I'm not choosy.
  5. A wireless phone for the room.
  6. Airconditioner, brand new or second hand.
  7. Trip to Kota Kinabalu.
  8. Two pairs of Havaianas, my choice.
  9. Canon D30.
  10. New books and DVDs.
  11. A new, fabulously thinner body.
  12. Soft and silky hair that do not frizz on a drop of a hat.
  13. Money to pay my bills.
  14. A hundred wishes from my fairy godmother.
  15. Dennis Trillo.
  16. B Forever.

That's it, I guess. Hee.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Wish for a Rainbow

There are moments so perfect you want them to last forever, or just bottle them up to store for a rainy day. You want time and emotions to stand still, to stay that way for a lifetime. You live inside a bubble, so beautiful yet so fragile. You don't want to move, for you might breathe the wrong way and ruin the moment.

When you finally can't take the cold breeze anymore and dust yourselves to get up, you're actually kind of sad, because you felt your heart was etched in that patch of grass and somebody will just step on it. But never mind, you carried everything inside you.

Thank you for being in my life.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Lent <> Vacation

I can go on and write something that would require to hit the Page Down four times, but the bottomline would still be the same. Lenten season does not equal vacation.

When I moved back here from the province I was amazed at how people would really be excited to go out of town because of the long weekend.

Back in Bacolod, during Holy Week we're not even allowed to laugh, watch TV, do anything remotely enjoyable, much less leave the house to (gasp!) go swimming and bare skin. It was a week of pangingilin, starting on Palm Sunday, and of course ends on Easter.

I'm not saying I never went anywhere during Lent in the past, but at least think about it. Or if you're not Catholic, respect the season.

Have a meaningful Lent.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Killed by Slides

I had just survived a one-week induction program, and it was a close call. I didn't think death by Powerpoint is possible but believe me, it is.

Imagine 5 whole days of being barraged with information, eight hours a day of information overload. You feel like you're drowning in a sea of "initiatives", "paradigm shifts", "knowledge management", "anticorruption policies", "results-based", "project cycle", and "transparency and governance".

By the time Friday rolled in, I was ready for "Serial Killing 101". Sure, I need to know all those modules and sometimes it's really interesting, and you get firsthand information about how certain things are done. But to cram a 3 month-learning process into a week of forced intake, it just wasn't pretty.

Right now I'm organizing all the slides I've printed and I think they will be not looked at for the next ten years at least. It's a painful reminder of what I had to go through.

Actually, I really don't mind the lectures that much. What really irritated me are my one-time seatmates, when I had the stupidity and ignorance to take the empty chair beside them.

One of them didn't bother printing out the slides, so when the lecturer would explain things she's lost. Then she would ask her friend sitting beside her, who in turn would talk about it in a very detailed manner (I wouldn't say correct) and in a not-so-quiet voice. They even turn pages noisily.

I'm off Powerpoint presentations for the rest of the year.

Friday, April 07, 2006

State of Blah

I have money and time to burn, although a bit limited. I'm now in a dilemma: books, shoes, or clothes?

Notice that I wrote books first? Oh man. I'll spend a fortune again on books when I'm still in the middle of one, and ten more waiting.

Wonders of multitasking: I can read Lady Chatterley's Lover while watching Friends. Betcha no guy can do that. Only women have the inborn talent for such things. Watch how some girls at work do the following all at the same time (I'd like to emphasize that it's all official) - writing an email, talking to somebody on the phone, sort documents, proofread, and reply to a text message.

If you put a man in her position, he cannot do it for a million dollars. They would panic, become irritable, and ready to break down. Is it in the genetic makeup?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

4-5-6

Yep, it's April 5, 2006 or 04-05-06, a date we won't see for another thousand years. (Of course I stole that line from Kottke.)

I don't know, I just want to do a post so I have one for 4-5-6. It might not make sense but hey, I'm like that 70% of the time anyway so why pretend otherwise? And besides, I still don't have an entry for April, my birthday month.

Speaking of birthday, I'm torn between going all out this year or entirely forgetting it. I mean, it's supposed to be a big deal when you get to that number. But really, all it did so far was cause me to panic and hyperventilate. People of this age are usually accomplished already -- nice job, nice car, a master's degree, married maybe, with kids as a bonus, has extensively traveled -- all those things. Obviously, I have like only one of that, guess which one.

I'm crossing the big 3 and all I have is this lousy shirt. Ok, maybe not one lousy shirt, or it's not really lousy or a shirt, but my point is, I haven't really done anything! Last night I actually did the unthinkable and listed the pluses and minuses of my life. I don't know what possessed me, constantly looking over my shoulder in case somebody peeks at my list, but I haven't been that honest with myself for a really long time.

So I sat writing and writing and I felt like crying already because my minuses were fast outnumbering the pluses and oh God, here comes 30, coming to me head on at a hundred miles per hour.

I finally stopped writing, primarily to save my sanity and also because my hand ached already. I forced myself to read it. Minuses first, at least I'll be ending with something positive. Hmm, hey I listed that twice, and that one doesn't count because it was really out of my control, and this one I don't care anyway, etc. etc. I kept on making up excuses as I went through it. Then I finally threw the list out.

Who said anyway that we have to be this person by a certain age? Where was it written down, and who the hell said it was gospel truth? Because I haven't accepted anything as gospel truth.

And where I am right now is not bad, not bad at all. Some people would even say I'm lucky to be here. For the rest of it, so what if I don't have my degree yet? It's not a guarantee anyway that my life would be better once I get it. Or that I don't have a car? Gasoline is sooo expensive. Married? Kids? It will all come in time.

Maybe I'll have a blast on my birthday.