Sunday, November 27, 2005

Nice Useless Things

I went to Sephora.com and I nearly cried. If only for Sephora I would live in NY. Just look at all those things, yummy things, nice smelling things, beautiful things. I know I don't need it but what the hell, like I can afford it. Nearest thing to Sephora I have is Beauty Bar and Essenses. Why am I blessed with so much tendency to hoard nice things? I'm a Taurus all right.

Happy, uh, Birthday

It's her birthday today, and please don't ask how I know. I'm still hesitant to write a greeting in her comments section as she might have me decapitated.

Anyway, now you know.

Friday, November 25, 2005

They Wouldn't Get Off my Case



"Pasuot nga kung anong kamangha-mangha dyan sa Chuvaianas na yan."

{Sinuot nga. Naglakad lakad.}

"Eh Beach Walk lang to eh."

Letse.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Tagged

There's been a lot of tagging going around, so I'm inventing mine, and I'll go first:

Ten Reasons Why God Put Me Here on Earth (I Think):

1. Because my parents were in need of bad karma.
2. So that there would be somebody to torment people who leave their phones on Loud and take their calls inside theaters and churches.
3. So the family would have the token Genius. (kafal)
4. To help the economy by shopping blindly.
5. I help generate employment by being lazy. I pay somebody to do the dirty work like laundry and stuff.
6. I'm proof that you don't need to diet to lose weight, and you don't need to pig out to gain. The latter part, I just inhale the yummy food and that's 2 pounds more on the weighing scale.
7. So that my friends would have somebody to yell at them while crying with them at the same time.
8. To serve as proof that there is harm in trying.
9. Two words: devil's advocate.
10. So that B would have someone to have and to hold. (nyah)

I'm tagging Daday, JDE, Resty (haha), Dylan, and Raf. Ang hindi sumagot, panget.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I Don't Have Anything to Say

I'm just here listening to this CD called OPM Classics, which I bought in 1998, just when pirated CDs were starting to be born. When pirated CD covers were actually laid out, given a lot of effort, and can be considered quality compared to the pirated of now. Yes, it's pirated, it's not produced by any record label (or is Music Masters a legit recording company?).

Actually, I don't think I bought it, I just stole it from Jepoy Baboy's inventory. It's a 2-CD set of songs from the golden era of OPM. I love love love this CD, it contains 46 classic 70's and 80's hits such as Manila, Sumayaw Sumunod, Kayganda ng Ating Musika, etc. Rey Valera, VST & Co., Hajji Alejandro, Basil Valdez, and the APO Hiking Society among others dominate this collection.

It's just refreshing to listen to these songs, instead of the hip-hop trip-hop chill-hop whatever-hop that's all around today. Maybe I'm really getting old, I can't listen to Eminem for three songs straight, or even Nelly. That bang-bang-bang beat of hip-hop is torture to my ears, and frankly they sound all alike.

Old songs didn't need all those noise to be interesting -- they were cleaner, simpler, and more free-flowing. Why do you think they keep reviving them? Because it's so easy to rearrange and put new twists on it, there are almost no bare excesses.

I don't think of myself as a music expert or anything, I thought the song Believer was an original by Smash Mouth. So sue me, it was by the Monkees sung in the 60's. You don't know who the Monkees are? Same here.

And then I met a girl who thought that Crazy for You was composed and sung (horribly at that) by this guy, I don't know which one. What, she says, Madonna was the original? As in Madonna of Music and the same one who kissed Britney Spears and of late the Confessions on a Dancefloor Madonna? Really?

Oh good Lord.

PS: I don't think it's pirated anymore, iTunes recognizes the CD but classified it as Reggae. Really, who decides for genres over there at Apple?

Monday, November 21, 2005

When I Go Splat

"I bought Havaianas, they're on sale."

"What's that?"

"Anobeeehhh...Havaianas, yung flip-flops."

"Oh. The cigar."

"That's Havanas."

"So what's Havaianas nga? Tsinelas?"

"Flip-flops."

"Same banana. What kind did you get?"

"A tropical something."

"Lemme see. How much?"

"It was on sale."

"Yeah, you told me. How much?"

"Mmfppfftt."

"What?"

"-- hundred."

"I can't hear you. Where is it ba?"

"Seven hundred. It was on sale."

"SEVEN HUNDRED??? FOR TSINELAS? Hanep, baket naging ganyan presyo nyan? Mukhang pambanyo ha."

"It's really really soft. You can walk in it for hours."

"I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"Since when did you walk for hours? Scratch that. Since when did you walk to anywhere, period."

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Vienna Tidbits

Or what is known as neither here and there, yet everywhere...

+ Dude's so funny. Went to Peyups.com to read articles and came across this guy's article in which he said (and to which I totally agree) that "Testimonial whores, on the other hand, still need to be shot dead."

+ I once posted on the Bulletin Board in Friendster: What's worse than not having a testimonial? Begging for one.

+ I will really regret all the times I've been on sloth mode. I know it, I just know it. Then I will swear to myself ten million times not to ever go on sloth mode again. But I can't help it.

+ I'm gaining weight again, after that drastic weight loss of the year. But still manageable, although I would've liked to lose more. Lakas kasi kumain ng breakfast/lunch/dinnermate ko.

+ I went to the dentist earlier. It has been so long since the last time I had my teeth cleaned, but the dentist gave me good marks. I just hate the sound of that drill thing. I may have to have braces again. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt.

+ This BryanBoy creature, you know him of course, he's not something from our collective imagination, right? I mean, I guess he's real like he's alive and exists, but WHERE DID HE COME FROM? I have nothing against him and his lifestyle (you know me), and I actually get a kick from reading his blog. I just wonder what he does for a living to be able to spend all those money and what is his family like and what's he like when he's alone, that sort of crap. He's unapologetic, crass, in-your-face, and rich. A lethal combination.

+ Just two weeks left, and I have mixed feelings. I'm always like this when I'm about to have major changes in my life. I suddenly don't know if I made the right decision or whether I'll be happier doing this or that or would I regret this forever...I've thought this over four hundred times and I think this is the next best step. Wish me luck.

+ Going to DFA tomorrow to get his passport, hopefully we can go to Kota Kinabalu next year. Fingers crossed.

Teynks

Natatandaan nyo pa ba nung sinubukan ko magsulat ng purong Tagalog? Di ba ang pangit? Pwes, hindi pala sya pangit dahil nasa Peyups na sya.

Teynks ulit sa mga nagbasa. Hayaan nyo, sa tuwing magkakaroon ako ng inspirasyon ay magsusulat ulit ako gamit ang wikang Tagalog. Bibili na rin ako ng ta-la-sa-li-ta-an. O ha?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Kristal


Belated happy birthday to my youngest sister who just turned 14 yesterday, the 14th.

She was born when I was 15, making her old enough to be my daughter if I actually had a boyfriend then and was stupid enough to get pregnant.

When I started working she was only 4, she would call me at the office mumbling about some things just because she memorized my number. Now I don't know which of her cellphone numbers work and I would send load to the wrong one.



We used to drag her to the nearest Burger Machine stand (not near at all) at 12 midnight because her older siblings suddenly wanted to eat chili burgers and Mama is not home. Now she goes to McDonald's with her own friends.

She used to hate food so much that if she heard the table being set up her face would erupt in a mini volcano of screams and sobs. Now she wakes up at 1 a.m. to scramble eggs and wolf that down in 3 seconds. She can eat two slices of stuffed crust pizza and eat rice afterwards, still with zero body fat.

She used to have wonderful spiral hair when she was little. Now it's just a mess of waves going this way and that because she's not very keen on combing it.

She would just plop on the couch even when wearing a short skirt. We'd have to remind her that some things aren't meant to be seen by the public.

She's very mature for her age, maybe because she grew up around adults. She can be very sarcastic, but then again, that's because she grew up with us.

She used to ask "Where are you going?" when she sees people brushing their teeth.

She is very tall and lanky -- a very far cry from me and the other sister -- maybe I can get her to be a ramp model when she's old enough and I can be manager. I could even meet Dennis Trillo that way.



Happy birthday Xtal!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Answers to Questions I Long to Say Aloud Sometimes

Q: Bakit ang taba mo ngayon? (You've gained weight.)
A: Ikaw, bakit pangit ka palagi? (Oh yeah? well you're ugly.)

Q: May ginagawa ka ba?
A: Meron, ang pagtiisan ang mga walang kwenta mong tanong.

Q: Can I ask you a question?
A: You're already doing it.

Q: {While discussing a very lengthy instruction}. Yeah? (Meaning did I get everything)
A: No, and I couldn't care less.

Q: Ate, may uod po yung itlog na maalat na binili nyo. Itatapon ko po ba?
A: Wag, hayaan mo lang sya dyan mabulok sa ref. Sa inyo ba anong ginagawa sa mga inuuod na pagkain?

Q: Ay bakit ganyan yan, ano ba yan? Pusa ba talaga yan? (Referring to our Persian kitty)
A: Hindi, kangaroo yan. Ganyan ho talaga ang mga kangaroo, mabalahibo.

Biatch.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Spawn of the Devil Dog


You might have read about our brat dog, Gabby.

She's not any breed at all, at the same time she has lots of breeds in her. She's a mutt, a generic dog, an askal if you will. But since Banana and I are suckers for anything we can baby, she's the Dawg.

During the past few weeks she's been with us, she has grown from a docile puppy to a first class bitch (pun intended), treating everybody like her servants and acting like a diva.

There's a dog next door, Tasha the Pomeranian, who's about the same age as Gabby. There has never been a single instance when Gabby did not bully Tasha. When Gabby came to us, they were the same size, but since then Gabby has far outgrown Tasha.

Gabby had once pushed Tasha into the stinky gutter. She also has this habit of sitting on a sleeping Tasha. Once we let in the Pomeranian inside our house and let her play with Gabby's toys. She was in the midst of sniffing a toy bone when Gabby saw her, got mad, and like a speeding bullet Gabby hurled her body against the smaller dog and of course the smaller dog in turn hurled into the wall.

I don't know why she acts like that. Did we spoil her too much that she's now like those ugly-but-rich kids? You know, those native-looking brats who drives sparkling new 4x4s, sometimes mistaken for the driver's kid?

And for the love of God, she won't stop nipping and biting us. Her mouth is always half-open looking for something to snack on. I fell asleep on the couch one time, and I woke up because Gabby was there chew-chew-chewing on my fingers. We've bought her toys and stuff to nibble on, but they quickly become a Toy Story nightmare sequence. Annabelle, my mini-stuffed monkey (Monkey, monkey, Annabelle. get it?) was ripped in two days after I gave to her as a toy. Once, for lack of something or somebody to chew, I caught Gabby with a whole hind paw stuck inside her mouth.



She doesn't remember pain. With other dogs the memory of a spank would send it hiding from you at least for a while. With Gabby, I think that even if you beat her with a stick (not that we tried) she would just go on doing her thing. She likes the trash and dirty tissues which she takes to the living room for shredding. We caught her once, we told her NO, the next time there was a slap on the nose, the third time a fairly hard spank on the butt. At no instance did she give any indication of remorse or guilt.

You should see her roll her eyes. She does that especially when you're talking to her, roll her eyes and then turn her back to you. Nice.

She has learned some things though, like not peeing or pooping in the house, not going up to the second floor, not chewing the shoes and slippers, and not begging for food while we're eating.

When we come home at night you'd think she's gonna faint from excitement. Jump jump jump, tail wagging, all smiles as she tries to lick our leg. When she's like that we forget everything else.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Another Victory for Mankind

I just killed a cockroach.

I didn't do it by the old-fashioned way (i.e., slippers) because I don't want that icky white thing that gushes out of their bodies. Besides, the fucker is in my room and Yaya just polished the floor. I'm not that evil.

I used old fashioned Raid. I always keep a small can in the room in case one of the fuckers deign overstep their boundaries. Well, one did, and I spray-chased the dirty bastard all over the room. Now he's lying dead, and I'm suffocating from the insecticide.

I am not afraid of cockroaches, I just don't like them because of the germs they're carrying. Also, I have terrible allergic reactions when they somehow come into contact with my skin. My aunt said I can part time as a cockroach path tester, like you can roll me in a suspect location (like a kitchen counter) and if I break out into ugly red splotches, then bingo, a cockroach passed that area.

I know about ecosystems and the circle of life and all that stuff but seriously, what animal eats cockroaches? I guess they can be crunchy outside and mealy inside (excuse me while I throw up) but really, cockroaches?

While I was typing the above I turned to look at the supposedly dead thing on the floor -- I didn't pick it up to throw it out because I'm lazy -- and it's GONE. I forgot they survive nuclear explosions, and I was stupid enough to assume Raid will do the job.

If this was a B-movie, there'd be a sequel.

Suspending Law and Order

In an ideal world there is no disease, no wars, no poverty, and I am allowed to bash in the faces of those who annoy me.

In an ideal world Dennis Trillo will see me while I climb the stairs to the godforsaken LRT station and fall head over heels in love with me. He will then move heaven and earth to find out who I am and where I live so he can send me flowers and chocolates and nice, expensive things.

In an ideal world I can eat anything I want and still be thin and glamourous. I don't sweat like a pig on hot summer days and my face won't look like it can power a small engine with all the oil it's producing.

But alas, this is not.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Would You Kill Barney?

I know I would. God, that purple turd is irritating.

Anyway, you might have noticed that (ahem, ahem) my blog has a different look. Many many many thanks to the Great SA of MN for holding my hand throughout this ordeal. If you know somebody at the Guinness World Book of Records, SA of MN can totally be listed for MEMORIZING THE HEX CODE OF EVERY COLOR in the spectrum. That's no small feat.

I've decided that my new color theme is Eggplant. I will be using every shade of Barney for my new template. Well, technically, it's not a new template. It's the same old algae-farm thing, I just "repainted" it. That would explain that ugly block of green down south of the page. Can't figure out how to send it to hell.

Also, I need a new banner, don't you think? Something purply but not Barney purply. I still don't know squat about Photoshop, but I might probably be able to bully someone (Daday? :D )to make me a new Eggplant banner. Or, as the British says, aubergines.

Another eyesore in this template is the blasted Google ads down there. I can't make it mooooove. I've tried everything -- bribery and coercion won't work their usual magic on that thing. I'm thinking of taking it out since I haven't earned a single cent from those.

I also don't know how to remove that green stripe on the right of the sidebar so it might stay there for a while. Or forever, unless you take pity on my case and help me out here.

Oh yeah, that Tarot girl below is kinda hot in a weird way. Not her boobs, no, but there's something hot about the way she throws her head back and laughs. Please forget I said that part.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Dark Justice

The Justice Card
You are the Justice card. Justice preserves the
harmony of the world. Working with opposite
forces, Justice does not seek to criticize or
condemn but rather to accept. The idea behind
the card justice is that opposite forces are
complementary; you could not have good without
evil or light without darkness. Justice's
position is to make sure that if a thing is out
of balance, the weight of its energy is
realigned with its opposite force. This card is
also a card of humour, for it is in pointing
out contrary positions that humour is often
found. The attitude that is found in the
humourous person, being able to shift
perspective and flow with an instinct, is
important in the maintenance of good balance.
Image from The Blue Moon Tarot Deck.
http://www.themysticeye.com/pics/bluemoon.htm


Which Tarot Card Are You?
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