Monday, February 28, 2005

Seduce Me (?)





Your Seduction Style: The Natural





You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.



I have one word for this -- ick.

Me? Seduce?

Really, ick.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Bondage Slut

Ngyar. Went to this site to get a Goth name. Look what I got, Bondage Slut. I mean, it's not a Goth name. It's the title of a porn movie with really dugyutin actors. i didn't want that, so I omitted my second name and got -- Midnight Temptress. S'ok I guess, at least it sounds like a moon diva or an elemental queen.

Briseis, on the other hand, wasn't much luckier. She got Latex Sex. WTF is that? Is Goth synonymous with Porn? Bibay got Damaged Roses, which we all concluded was a euphemism for "gangbanged". Please don't tell me you don't quite make the connection. Roses, flower, damaged...get it?

Reminds me of a joke that goes like this:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue.
Little Boy Blue who?
Michael Jackson.


It took me a full minute to get that one. Hey, Mr Eleven Inches got it in five, and he's a Mensa member.

Hi A, if you're reading this (fat chance of that, but just in case), peace tayo. :-)

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Sign of Intelligent Life

I'd just like to post the following exchange between me and Persephone. I think it's pretty interesting, and proves that we don't just sit around and talk about Daisy, or Apo for that matter. :-)

The original email came from Daisy, though, but never dared to join the discussion. Love you Daisy Duday Duck.

============================
-----Original Message-----
From: Daisy

Fear not !!! For I am with you !!! Isaiah 41:10
We know that 80% of the town of Meulabohin Aceh was destroyed by the Tsunami waves and 80% of the people also died. This is one of the towns that was hit the hardest.

But there is a fantastic testimony from Meulaboh. In that town are about 400 Christians. They wanted to celebrate Christmas on December 25th but were not allowed to do so by the Muslims of Meulaboh. They were told if they wanted to celebrate Christmas they needed to go outside the city of Meulabohon a high hill and there celebrate Christmas.

Because the Christians desired to celebrate Christmas the 400 believers left the city on December 25th and after they celebrated Christmas they stayed overnight on the hill.

As we all know the morning of December 26 there was the earthquake followed by the Tsunami waves destroying most of the city of Meulabohand thousands were killed. The 400 believers were on the mountain and were all saved from destruction.

Now the Muslims of Meulaboh are saying that the God of the Christians punished us for forbidding the Christians from celebrating Christmas in the city. Others are questioning why so many Muslims died while not even one of the Christians died there.

Had the Christians insisted on their rights to celebrate Christmas in
the city, they would have all died. But because they humbled themselves and followed the advice of the Muslims they all were spared destruction and can now testify of God's marvelous protection.

This is a testimony of the grace of God and the fact that as believers we have no rights in the world. Our right is come before God and commit our lives to Him. Our right is kneeling down before the Lord almighty and commit our ways to Him. He is our Father and is very capable to care for His children. Praise the Name of the Lord.

Bill Hekman
Pastor Calvary Life Fellowship in Indonesia

-----Reply-----
Me:

so would you say that just because they're Muslims, they are not God's own? what about the concept of one God but with different names? I don't agree with this article.

-----Reply-----
From: Persephone

From what I know, no they're not the same...Jehovah, God of the Bible, and Allah, of the Koran. Allah was the moon god from Mecca. That is why Islam has the crescent moon. The flag of Turkey has a crescent moon with a star in it. Well, the crescent moon is because Allah was the moon god. But we don't serve a moon god. We serve the God of creation, the Creator of everything.

The Bible says "I will have mercy on whome I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." ( Romans 9:14b) The Scripture also says that the "Lord knows those who are His" and that "He will reveal himself to his people".... All is written in the Bible...

-----Reply-----
Me:

I'd like to believe that there is a one God who is impartial, and fair. Because after all, what are people fighting for besides peace? It's equality.

I'm not very religious, but I believe that whatever anybody calls his Deity of choice, there is only one God who created everything and would not intentionally harm us. Whatever storms humanity suffer, we are all responsible for it. It's the concept of free will, the greatest gift he gave us aside from giving us life. We chose to fell the trees, therefore the floods that killed thousands and rendered more homeless.

=====================

That's it, nobody replied anymore, perhaps because of the subject. Even I violated a personal rule: there are two subjects I don't discuss with friends -- politics and religion. Somebody's bound to end up with a bloody nose. Exaggerated, but not quite untrue.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

A Great Big Yawn

I just found I'm not gonna be reporting in class later. What a relief. But I couldn't breathe totally because we are doing it next week. It's times these that I really question the reasons why am I in school. I told myself that I want to improve, to not let my brain stagnate. That it's an investment, and I hope that someday it will all pay off. Sure.

While all of the above statements are true, there is also another reason why I keep pushing myself: perennial boredom. I get bored easily. It's both a gift and a curse, more often the latter. I hate it that I have a short attention span, because life is a going concern (grad speak, so shoot me) and sometimes patience is really a virtue.

I keep telling myself to fight it, the urge to just throw up my hands and declare "I don't want this anymore." It's such a childish thing to do, even bratty. Mature people (not necessarily old) do not just pack up and go when they're not having fun anymore. It's happened a lot, with my past jobs, acquaintances, hobbies, etc. You should see all the DMC threads I accumulated when I got consumed by the cross-stitching virus.***

When I start something I am very enthusiastic about it and give it my all. And then, something will go wrong, like I can't seem to find the right thread or my boss is suddenly Mr Hyde, and that's it. I would stop cold turkey and put away everything. It would cease to exist for me.

So where were we? Oh right...yes, I can't seem to keep the fire burning. Although I must say that I have improved a lot now that I am older; I have a different perspective on things. Especially with work -- I now fully comprehend that poor people with lots of bills coming in cannot have a short attention span.

Ironically, though, I tend to slug it out in relationships. Even when all seem hopeless, I drag it on, hoping for a new development. I stay put, because I don't want to have my what ifs. What if I was more patient, more understanding, more generous, more whatever. I don't want to go through life regretting that I failed to try harder. I feel that with people you don't just say "Ayoko na." True, there will come a time when you feel you've given your best and yet it's just becoming worse. But that's it...you've given your best. After that, you will have no more to offer , and therefore no what ifs.

I am trying my damnedest to have no what ifs.



*** DISCLAIMER: I would like to clarify that I am regretting that part of my life. Cross-stitching in your early twenties should be made illegal, along with gardening.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

My Sentiments Exactly





I'm so happy with this billboard. It's got everything I want to say. Oh yeah, this came from Wabbit (thanks!). We are on a two-man (or woman) mission to eradicate vermin in the government, and we will do it by flinging giant leeches at them. Take that.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Why?

Eto na naman po kami. Nagka-clash ang aming energies. Hindi na naman nya masakyan ang mga trip ko. Bakit kailangan pa nyang mag-isip ng iba, samantalang all the while I've been telling it as it is. I'm being truthful but he's not giving me a chance. Lagi akong masama. It's always my fault ba? Hindi naman siguro...I'm in my pinakamabait mode na nga sa relasyong chuva ever na ito. Buti nga at nagkita kami na medyo kyonders na ko kasi kung nung mga 5 years ago at ganyan ang ugali nya nang magkakrus ang aming landas....ay ewan, di ko alam kung sinong unang mapepresinto. I have mellowed a lot now, you can even ask my friendships.

Ganun pala pag lagi kang pinapraning, ang dami mo tuloy kinatatakutang gawin kasi feeling mo nandyan lang sya. Is it still healthy? Parang you're always on your toes na baka may gawin kang hindi nya magustuhan, when you've always been doing it and you know it's a very harmless thing. Minsan, he doesn't say na naaasar na sya or ayaw nya ng ginagawa ko. Hindi nga lang sya magsasalita. Mga 3 days siguro syang ganun minsan. Which is nakaka-stress, and to avoid stress hindi ko na lang ulit gagawin yung bagay na yun, although deep in my heart I know there's really nothing wrong in doing it. I'm afraid that I would be just a shell of my original self once I give in to every stress-inducing situation. What about what I want to do? Hindi naman ako sobrang hedonista na puro sarili ko lang, na ako lang ang pwedeng maging masaya. I'm definitely not like that. I just want to do the things that I enjoy while I still can, habang (gasp!) wala pa kong partner in life. Masama ba yun?

The things that I enjoy do not violate any of the Ten Commandments naman. Wala namang human sacrifices involved, or orgies. Minsan nakakapagcommit ako ng isa sa mga capital sins, specially sloth at gluttony, hehehe. Sya ang favorite sin nya, Pride. Saka may isa pa, pero bawal sabihin dito kasi PG ang blog ko. Hay naku, what shall I do, oh Miss Little Muffet?

May pagka-tanga (minsan nga tanga na talaga) pa naman ako pagdating sa mga ganito...ayoko ng naiistress kaya minsan kahit yung pagpatay kay Magellan muntik-muntikan ko nang i-justify sa kanya. Baket ako nagkakaganito? Bakeeet??? This is not me anymore. Pengeng Prozac nga, gawin kong popcorn, baka sakaling magbago ang takbo ng mundo for me. Kung wala titira na lang ako ng katol.

About that other thing which I cannot talk about, ganun na nga. Can't talk about it. Signed something to that effect...so chenes na ha, wala nang mangungulit. Ang mapilit ipapakain sa mga higanteng linta. Saka dun na nga sya naasar sa kin, dahil sumama ako dun. Wag na nating pag usapan. (Pumunta daw ako ng Mandaluyong? Duuuhhh...mamatay na, di ako pumunta dun no.)

Bibay, stop being like that na. I have cheesecake sa house. :-)

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Scared Sh*t

This is a very busy day for me. Tons of schoolwork to catch up on, not to mention having only 3 hours of sleep. I've just been on a brainstorming session for an upcoming report (I thrive on pressure) held inside a coffeeshop where I downed an extra large mug of brewed coffee. They even asked if I wanted a refill, but I declined since I'm still feeling the caffeine soaking my brains.

I'm supposed to be doing 2 reaction papers right now, but have to warm up my brain. Have to do this now, or else I will be preoccupied with something else that's been scaring me sh*tless since I got their text message that I have been accepted.

Tonight, I will be participating on my very first quest. Quest for what, I can't tell you. Not yet, anyway, since I don't know if it's allowed. Let's just say it would change my life. Before, I can ignore the "interruptions" but I don't know if I can still do that after tonight. I know Bibay isn't too happy about this, but I've waited 2 years for this and I really have to go. He has to understand.

Wish me luck.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Shaideratops



Ang Pulis Pangkalawakan at si Annie. Hehe, joks...yung batang mukhang tomboy na Shaider ay pinsan ko po, at wala pong palatandaan na nahihilig sya sa girls for any other reason except maging playmate. Si "Annie" naman po ay anak ni Briseis, although puti din ang panty nya. Pinost ko lang kasi malapit na ang anniversary ng Splash Island adventure namin.

My Body is Not Mine Anymore

Help! Banana and I are sick. We are constantly gripped by the desire to clean, scrub, wash, and sweep the apartment. This is not normal, I assure you. Our bodies are taken over by ETs and is making us do things we despise.

The other night, we had a severe attack - we cleaned the kitchen. We overturned the shelves, washed the counter, scrubbed the sticky little jars, attacked the stove, and we even put them back all in their right places after cleaning. We started at 11pm and ended at 1am. That is one sign that our brains are not functioning normally. Those hours usually finds us catatonic, either in bed or in front of the idiot box watching some silly horror movie. Our favorites are the ones where it starts out as a Rated R thing with all the sex scenes (he/she, he/he, she/she, she/it, etc.), then proceeds to B-movieland where the bad guys have bad hair, bad teeth, bad breath, and bad acting. Actually, everybody acts bad, even with the sex scenes. How can someone have that facial expression while boinking? So everyone dies in the end.

Banana: Oh look, she's not dead, she's moving. (Referring to the kontrabida/killer/murderer)
Me: Oh my gosh...there will be a sequel!!! Aaaaarrrggghhh!!!

I know you don't believe we actually touched the dishwashing liquid and the sponges and the basahan. Well, we did, except for the basahan part. We used paper towels, a lot of it. I used it for cleaning the stove, the table, the dust off the shelves, wiping the fridge, and getting the gunk off the sink drain (eeeewwww eeeewwww). I knew we should have gotten it on video for evidence purposes, dang! It would have made my mother's Funniest Home Videos list.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

A Tribute to Daisy of the Greener Pasture




This is Daisy and her friend when they were kids. Hee hee...sorry Daisy, it's been a while since we did this. We so love you...padala mo na panggimik ng Adonis Gels.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Stiff

No, it's not another nickname for CutieKel...its my neck.

It just went stiff like that, suddenly I can't look to the left. There is a hard ball of pain at the left side of my neck. If I stretch my neck upward I'm afraid it might lock. Wonder what should I do with it. Is Salonpas effective? If I remove it, it won't peel off my skin, would it?

I even told Briseis that there might be an epidemic of stiff necks, because Rimbaldi and Mobee have one too, even Pucca. Maybe its a new virus invented by politicians and government officials, so we are all forced to look the other way when they're doing their vicious deeds.

I'm also very very sleepy...I want to just plop down on my bed whenever I get home. But since we don't have a yaya, I have to straighten up the house first, and scrounge for something to eat. Did I say I want this? At least we now have running water, we don't have to do the hose thing everytime we need water. It's so ma-giraffe and inconvenient.

I badly need a full body massage.


How I Spent My Lovapalooza Night

Don't you just find that Lovapalooza thing cheesy?

Anyway, after I made it clear to the world that I don't do Valentines, I wondered what should I do with my free time yesterday. I was starting to hate my hair, so I decided to get a haircut. I dragged The Boy With No Hips to the salon so the gay hairdressers will have somebody to flirt with. Those gays were marketing people too, because they managed to convince me to have a manicure, pedicure, and foot spa (to which I am addicted). So I sat there with people fussing over me, it was heaven. I was right too, the gays were really attracted to TBWNH, the one cutting my hair was already offering him a free foot spa and body massage. Gosh.

Afterwards, I wanted to do some grocery shopping, but all my money were already with the gays. I just decided to go home and texted Banana if she can come home early. She said she could, so I got us the biggest pizza from the Green Pizza Store. I don't know if we can finish it, but I wanted to make this our rare pig-out night. When I got home, she wasn't there yet, but her kid and nephew smelled the pizza and made a beeline for it, following me inside the house (they live two doors down). So I spent my Valentine night eating pizza with two cute boys aged six and four, discussing profound things such as where do babies come out when they're supposed to. The four-year-old argued it was like making pupu, only you risk the chance of exploding. The older one doesn't think so, he thought everybody had birdies and that's where the baby comes out. They were really serious about it, even visualizing and imagining the blood and the pain of exploding, with matching facial expressions. I didn't bother to correct them. Heck, that's their parents' job. Let them sweat it.

When Banana finally came home, the boys were stuffed full of pizza and ChocNut they were sugar high. They were performing some balancing acts near the glass-topped center table. I was too tired to do my customary "Pssst...wag dyan" so I let them be. Somebody shouted "Fishball!" outside, and when I looked at the boys they were making googly eyes at me. Fine, I got a twenty and sent them off. They returned with what looked the Second Coming of Fishballs in a bowl, and the brown, sweet sauce on top of it. It was delicious. I wouldn't be surprised if I now have LBM. I elbowed my way to the bowl, competing with the kids. We inhaled the fishballs in one go.

I was in a strange mood, so I cleaned up the kitchen when the kids were called home. I washed the dirty dishes, pans and pots, even the stove plates. I threw out the trash, swept the floor (where did all that dirt come from? I swear it was like sweeping the sidewalk), soaped the dinner table, and filled the thermos with boiling water in case one of us would have the time to have coffee in the morning. I seriously doubt it, but I was in the mood, so I took advantage. It's not gonna happen again for the next seven days at least, so I did what I could. Yaya, please come back na, sorry na for all our sins.

Then we got tired of fussing around the house and went to bed at 10:30. What was really odd was that I had a nice time just staying in, with all the traffic and the confusion in the outside world. Oh my gosh, I'm really getting old.

PS: I have a special entry on My Other Blog. If you have the time please do check it out.

Monday, February 14, 2005

On This Overrated Day

I know, I hate this day so why should I make a piece about it huh...thing is, I don't really hate it in the traditional sense, it's just that its overrated. For one (I am about to repeat most things every Valentine article would say), there is no one particular reason this day was invented. I think Hallmark, and BlueMountain, and other greeting card manufacturers just came up with so they would have another category in the already million or so existing cards they peddle to willing sentimental suckers. Two, people claim it started from Rome when they were all still wearing togas and olive branches in their hair. I think nobody should trust the earliest bulimics in history. For those who don't know, the Romans pigged out until they are bursting, and then stuck their fingers in their throats so they could pig out some more. They invented the disease.

I will not talk some more about it, but just wax nostalgic about the Valentines of my life I remember the most. When I was in 3rd Grade, teachers would make a big deal out of Valentines. They would decorate the classroom silly with hearts and cupids and red ribbons, they made us do Valentine art in art class, and they forced us to send Valentines to our classmates by cutting out hearts in two and you have to find your other half in the classroom. I know I was destined to hate this day, because blast it, I could not find my half! Nobody wanted to be my Valentine, I thought. I was on the verge of tears when finally, another classmate beat me to it screaming she doesn't have a half either. Teacher came to the rescue, and found out our hearts don't match, but decided that we two crybabies should be each other's Valentine. It was fine for me, because aside from the horror of not having a Valentine, it was the utter fear that I should be matched with a boy. You know how it is in grade school, he would be your loveteam for the rest of the schoolyear, and you will not hear the end of your classmates' teasing.

The next memorable day was when I was a freshman in high school. Again, I cannot find a valentine (teachers don't really grow up) inside the classroom. I begged the teacher if I can send instead to a former elementary classmate in another section. Turned out we're both losers in that aspect, she also sent me a valentine.

In college, I had this humongous horrible crush (HHC) on a pimply boy from Engineering. We're in the same org, and we were sort of friends (meaning he knows my name). I don't know up to this moment if he had discovered my HHC on him then but he started to be a bit too nice. Of course, when you have raging hormones and the current object of your affection is paying a little bit of attention on you you start having these insane daydreams that he likes you back. A week before Valentine's he was asking me all sorts of questions what should he give the girl he likes on the big day. Talk about stringing me on a line. I was shit crazy about him that I thought he was talking about me (and whenever I remember those times, I still feel like banging my head on the wall).

When the 14th came I was in very high spirits. And then he dropped the bomb. He handed me a sealed white envelope that looked very much like a valentine card, it even had the heart sticky on the flap. I would have gone to heaven except that when I flipped it around, it had my friend's name on it. Pakinshet talaga! I couldn't eat for days because of the shock. I don't know how I got through that moment, I must have pasted on my fakest smile and said "Sure". Ironically, now I have trouble remembering his name, much more his face. Oh well, such is life.

When I started working and in the process of losing all the idealism that I had in life, I never gave Valentine's Day a chance. Admit it, after you graduate from college you felt that you could save the world and you have a significant role to play in changing the society you found sick and disgusting. But after you get your first paycheck of minimum wage, it all falls apart. But I digress. It always happens that I would be single come every February, and to mock the kissing population I would join my other single friends in trashing ourselves in the most romantic restaurants, being in our most embarrassing.

Now I'm one who cannot hold my drink. I'm allergic to alcohol. Just a couple of tequila shots and my world is spinning. One Valentine Singles Party, I threw up in the parking lot. It wasn't really that embarrassing because it was dark and my friend Jeff was the only one who was there. Actually, I threw up in the parking lot because he kicked me out of the car when he noticed me getting too green. But he's my friend so I forgave him. It was better than making me pay for the dry cleaning of the car seats.

Today, I'm not single but I threatened him with castration if he would start to get all loving and sentimental today just because its Valentine's. Anyhow, it's not like I'm expecting something from him, he's not too big on gifts (dammit).

whatever. Enjoy your day. Death to everybody who dared wear red today. Death by humiliation! Har har har!!!



And Then There Were Two

I've been on an I-want-to-live-alone streak since late last year, and just last month I got my wish. A friend wanted to sublet a room so I grabbed it. It was cheaper, and I wouldn't totally be culture shocked because I still have a roomie to do things with, that is if we find the time.

I've been having a blast so far, because I can do things in my own time. I can decorate (so far, I haven't) my room anyway I want, or just throw my mess around because what the hell, its my room. I was having an almost too easy time, something tells me this isn't the way living alone should be. And then our yaya decided to leave us for greener pastures.

Yes, I will shamelessly admit that we have a yaya. Actually, its my roomie's, she was there already when I moved in. She is a 20-year old lass from Tarlac, who is so angelic and without a mean bone in her body. She tolerates our being makalat, and hates to see dirty dishes in the sink. Yeah, I don't do dishes. So anyway, she wanted to try another line of work in the province so she left. My roomie and I were crying when she finally said goodbye. I've only been here for two weeks, but she pampered me as she did my roomie. She would cook for us and made sure we ate it, do our laundry and ironing, reminds us that its time for our medications, bought us Coke and Tortillos at 11:00pm, and stayed awake until we finally hauled our asses to the bedroom so she could clean up after us. She was nice to our visitors. She even cleaned up my moving-after mess in the room because I was always putting it off. "Ate, parang binagyo naman yung kwarto mo." Guilty.

Days before her scheduled departure, we tried everything to make her stay. We explained that we will absolutely die if she left, because if there is one thing my roomie and I have something in common, its the absolute lack of domestic skills. Sure, I can cook prito, adobo, sinigang, pancakes (the One-Step kind), and rice, but only if I'm in the mood. We tried to guilt-trip her by saying we will starve to death, and the house would grow talahib because we have an aversion to brooms and rags. Banana (that's my roomie, and she has a name) even told friends to check us from time to time, we might have died already.

We also tried to bribe her, we told her we'll take her to Enchanted Kingdom and Splash Island if she will not leave. Wa epek, she really wanted to be a waitress. Bibay even got her a jean jacket because he knows how my life would be if yaya went.

So now it's just Banana and I here, mostly staring at each other, wondering where in the world is the walis and basahan, because somebody spilled something sticky under the table. Banana promised she'd do the dishes if I would cook. I agreed, because I hate how Joy dries up my hand.

So anybody know where we can get another yaya? If we die, it will be your fault.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Alter Ego

Natisod ko to sa tabi-tabi...for those I already sent this to, please send it back it to me.

YOUR PORN STAR NAME
(Name of first pet + street you live in)

- Katrina Magnolia (mwahahaha...star of Muscle Control. hahaha!!!)


YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME
(Name of your favorite snack + your grandfather's first name)

- Popcorn Fernando (never akong makakakuha ng serious roles)


YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME
(First word you see on your left + favorite restaurant)

- Memorandum Yum Yum Tree (what the f**k?)


EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS
(Favorite spice + Last vacation spot visited)

- Pepper Vigan (ang cute. parang serial killer)


SOCIALITE ALIAS
(Silliest childhood nickname + Town where you first partied)

- Girlie Bacolod (yuckies)


FLY GIRL ALIAS (a la J.Lo)
(First Initial + First 2 or 3 letters of your last name)

R. De (ngyar)


ICON ALIAS
(Something sweet within sight + Any liquid in the kitchen)

- Chocolate Gin


DETECTIVE ALIAS
(Favorite baby animal + Where you went to high school)

- Kid Quesci (action star ata to)


BARFLY ALIAS
(Last snack food you ate + your favorite bar drink)

- Popcorn Margarita (porn star ulit)


SOAP OPERA ALIAS
(Middle name + Street where you first lived)

- Grace Venus (marami akong porn star names)


ROCKSTAR ALIAS
(Favorite candy/dessert + last name of favorite musician)

- Cadbury Mancini (finally, something I like!)