Tuesday, November 30, 2004

A Fly in the Wall

Overheard between Sharon and Vilma (where, I don't know. F*** off.) :

Sharon: i might be nuts pero indulge me
Sharon: in our history together, can you think of one instance na inagrabyado ko sya?
Sharon: yung intentionally eh niloko ko sya with the sole intention of putting one over him?
Sharon: all i can think of is the pagyoyosi
Sharon: and i don't feel that bad about yesterday
Sharon: kasi nga i'm not guilty to begin with
Sharon: and i know he really hit the roof
Sharon: pano ba to? should i just let it be?
Vilma: actually kinausap ko sya ng konti after the cofi and yosi... sabi ko bakit d kayo nagpapansinan... sabi tanungin daw kita
Sharon: i can understand why he was mad
Sharon: pero sana pinakinggan nya rin yung explanation ko
Sharon: i don't want him to be mad at me for something that i didn't even want
Vilma: i told him that also pero i suggested na pag he's ready to talk to you eh makinig syang mabuti
Vilma: at lawakan nya ang isip nya
Vilma: he told me he stopped talking with Pitbull dahil gusto mo at gusto nya na rin tumigil and then he would only find out na you were talking with your boss at meron pang kahindik hindik na message... now wonder he freaked out
Vilma: anyway, sabi ko na baka naman you were just being nice dahil former boss mo nga... eh ang banat naman eh ang haba daw ng usapan nyo
Sharon: i don't want him to be mad
Sharon: because of what i will tell the two of you later
Sharon: kung ayaw na nya ok lang
Sharon: but i don't want him to be mad for something that he wrongly believes
Vilma: eh Shawie sya na yon eh... and you cannot change that... try mo nalang explain sya kanya kung kaya nya pang i-absorb ang sasabihin mo
Sharon: alam ko
Sharon: pero bakit sya di nya maintindihan na ako na to
Sharon: or ganito na tayo for that matter
Sharon: i'm not trying to change him at all

Script ng bagong movie...ang title "Hihintayin pa ba Kita sa Langit, Baka Mapanis Lang Ako."

I am not making any sense today, they just got a substantial amount of blood from me.

Monday, November 29, 2004

(Weird) Men I Lust For

This is a list of the members of the male species I (verb deleted) for, albeit unconventional. You will not find here the obviously aesthetically outstanding species like Brad Pitt or Aga Muhlach (don't get me wrong, I would still chain them to my bed IF I ever get the chance). Some people might not agree with me but hey, this is my list. Go ahead and make your own if this makes you barf.

Moving on, moving on, in no particular order:

1. Steve Buscemi. I just don't know why. He's a psycho, he got bad teeth, he's short. But I'm always half in love with this guy. Best roles to be seen in: Reservoir Dogs and Armageddon (he plays a genius).

2. Kevin Bacon. Yeah, yeah, he's some sort of a matinee idol when he did Footloose so he's not unconventional. But don't you just hate his nose? Totally love it. Anybody know where I can download his naked pics?

3. Jeremy Piven. Hasn't got a lead role yet, as far as I know. Usually confined to playing the best friend or the friend of the friend of the lead guy. Hairline is totally rising, but I don't care. For those who don't recognize the name, he's John Cusack's best friend in Serendipity (the guy who writes obituaries in the NYTimes). Liked him best in that dark comedy with Cameron Diaz, the title of which escapes me at this point.

4. Chris Cooper. If I am doomed to marry a much older guy, I would choose Mr Cooper. I will not explain anymore...just because. Oh yeah, he's the gay guy who shot Kevin Spacey in American Beauty.

5. Christopher Walken. I would not marry him because his smile spooks me. But this guy is something else...if only for his dancing in the Weapon of Choice MTV (Fatboy Slim).

6. John Malkovich. Does he chain his women?

7. The sniper guy in Saving Private Ryan. If somebody can tell me his name please.

8. Raymond Bagatsing. Hmmmm....pagsisilbihan ko sya. :-)

9. Philip Seymour Hoffman. I told you this list is weird.

10. Open for application. Must be a straight male. Send your resumes and pictures (1 close up, 1 full body shot), measurements and shoe size. IQ will be also measured. ;-)

Friday, November 26, 2004

Poetry Slush

So we're ok, we're fine, baby I'm here to stop the crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
Stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
We'll look at them together then we'll take 'em apart
Adding up the total of a love that's true
Multiply life by the power of two

-- Power of Two, Indigo Girls
------------

Somebody said to look up the Indigo Girls even if just for the poetry. Well, ok, but I'm not really into poetry. Although it might be argued that songs are poems (actually, they are). Ok, I'm into poetry with rhythm. I just can't create a poem. I used to when I was fifteen, and it was all about acne and emotions gone haywire. And they rhymed. I hate poems that rhyme; someday I will produce a haiku, but never again a poem that rhymes.

One time I attended a poetry reading in Malate. Let me rephrase, I did not attend, I was literally dragged into it by two gay friends who think they're literati, but in reality are just two wannabe drag queens (ei guys, give me a call, one round of drinks is on me). So there we were, getting drunk on Cali Ice while listening to this Goth lady recite something about her cat being run over by a truck. I appreciate her effort, truly, but I just didn't get it. I'm not genetically engineered to appreciate certain art forms, such as poetry readings and performance arts and some sculptures in particular.

Dammit, and I would have liked to think of myself as a struggling artist.

Monday, November 22, 2004

While Getting my Dose of Higher Learning

Saturday, 20 November

4:05 p.m.

My professor has sideburns. And bangs. And a tail-like something at the back. He somehow looks like Wolverine, if Wolvie is sixty years old. In short, he takes the word "bad-hair day" to a whole new level. Would you trust somebody who looks like he just got his hair out of a dryer to feed you supposedly useful information about "bridging the gap between science and market"?

4:15 p.m.

Its raining, and I can hear the zen-like mini-falls outside the classroom. Its kinda relaxing, like being inside a posh spa, only with fluorescent lighting and the bad-hair day personified in front of me. I can feel my eyes glazing over.

4:40 p.m.

I'm barely here an hour and I'm already experiencing astral projection out of boredom. Wish I could transport myself to Bali or Jamaica. I'm also starting to have a headache, a big one. Fuck, I wouldn't be able sleep later. It's weird, but when I have migraine attacks I just could not sleep. I will be forced to stay up late until there's nothing on TV anymore except that vile Kuya Germs show which will undoubtedly double my migraine.

4:50 p.m.

I thought my professor would be old, like moss-infested old. He's surprisingly younger-looking compared to what I have imagined he would be. On paper, it says he's a brilliant guy, and I'm sure he is. But nobody can be that enthusiastic teaching this subject at this hour on Saturdays. I wonder what he's taking.

5:15 p.m.

It's official -- I'm bored.

5:30 p.m.

Aren't we gonna have a break soon? I'm tired of hearing about Jollibee vs. McDonalds. Oh, Jollibee is winning, but Twister Fries and caramel sundae are still unbeatable.

5:35 p.m.

Now he's telling us to choose heart attack over cancer. I didn't know he can be funny. And no, there was no hint of sarcasm in my voice.

5:40 p.m.

I have no problem making decisions, thank you very much. I make decisions for everybody in a three-mile radius. I can't stand indecisions and fickle-mindedness. I can't stand people who make decisions and then changing it after a minute. Nobody likes fence-sitters, either, if that's what you're suggesting. I am merely lazy.

5:45 p.m.

I'm dreaming awake...I can see myself below, unconscious but wide eyed. I decide to go to Bali.

7:00 p.m.

Huh? We're done?

----------------

I need help. Really.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Shut Your Face

Warning: to the people who are intent on bossing me around, here are a few tips:

1. Make sure you are actually my boss.

2. If you're going to demand authority, I hope you reek of it.

3. Do not be a stickler for rules if you yourself are breaking every last one.

4. I will not put on an OK face while you're making your Goody-Two-Shoes speech. I am very transparent.

5. I don't care if I'm Ms Simangot. There's a reason behind it and I'm in the process of putting it into words.

6. Don't fool yourself into thinking that I will actually follow your directions (which are usually way off the mark), because I can think for myself.

7. A lifetime of doing the same stuff over and over again should've taught you some things.

8. A little tact and diplomacy goes a long way.

9. Respect is earned, not commanded.

10. I don't require you to speak perfect English, but please think before you speak. Actually, this last one says it all.

So shut it.

What's Another Word for Kapakshetan?

Itong araw na to ang papatay sa kin.

We are all so pressured and busy that we're snapping at each other. Frayed nerves and people breathing down your neck for Urgent documents makes you want to bite somebody's head off. I haven't even had my caffeine fix for the day. It's barely an hour since I got here and already my body says it's late afternoon.

Feeling ko lang bago matapos ang araw duduguin na ko. O kaya susuka ako ng nana (Ma, pahiram ng favorite expression mo). Lahat sila, walang exception, nagcoconspire para papangitin ako. (Pag may nag comment dyan ng medyo alanganin, sisipain ko.)

Eto nga hawak ko ang phone, everytime pipindutin ko para tumawag may next caller na naman. At iba-iba ang kelangan nila. As in, walang umuulit.

I envy Kifing nga eh, I just called to wish him a happy birthday, eh bukas pa pala. Powtah. Anyway yun nga, kakainggit sya kasi parang 8 a.m. na ko tumawag, nasa house pa sya at nag uupdate ng blog! Grabeh, so stress-free ha. So I asked him is that why he's looking for stress in other aspects of his life, kasi sobrang relaxed sya sa kanyang work.

O sya, pag natuluyan ako ngayong araw punta kayo agad sa lamay ko kasi gusto ko not more than 3 days akong nakaburol, k? Keri? keri.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Moving Out

My gulay (screw Amanda G), I really wanna be fully independent. Meaning, gusto ko nang mag isa sa bahay!

Gusto ko nang mamuhay mag-isa, magising ng walang ibang tao, walang maingay, walang ibang nagkakalat, walang nangingialam ng gamit ko. Gusto ko nang maranasan yung gutom na ko pero wala akong makain kasi tinamad na naman akong mag grocery at mas lalo akong tamad lumabas para maghanap ng pagkain. Gusto ko pwede akong mag breakfast ng alas dos ng hapon na walang magagalit sa kin kasi uulcerin ako. Gusto kong maglinis ng sarili kong kalat, gawin kahit anong gusto ko dahil bahay ko yun. Gusto kong makapag yosi sa banyo ng walang mag rereklamo na amoy usok. Gusto ko kahit saan ko ilapag ang gamit ko hindi ako mag aalala na baka may kumuha.

Gusto ko lahat yan.

Pero paanoh???

It takes lots of guts to be independent. Kaya ko bang magising ng maaga na walang gigising sa kin? Kaya ko bang panatiliing disease-free ang bahay ko? Ma-take ko kayang maglinis ng banyo? Maghugas ng kawaling pinagprituhan? Pag may pumutok na ilaw, anong gagawin ko? Mga gripong ayaw magsara, pano na? Maalala ko kayang i-check lahat kung nakapatay bago ako umalis sa umaga?

It takes even more money to be independent. Lahat ng tinanong ko na apartment/unit, nanghihingi ng 2 months advance, 1 month deposit. At an average of 6 thousand a month, more or less I should have 20 thousand in cash if I want a place of my own. Syempre bibili pa ko ng gamit, di naman pwedeng magkakatabi kami ng PC at mga sapatos ko sa sahig. Kelangan ko rin ng phone para makapag Internet. And this time I have to deal personally with the bills from Meralco and Maynilad. Meron ba kong perang ganun?

Sa ngayon, wala. Nadah. Kahit at gunpoint, wala talaga.

But I can feel the desire inside me, I have to get my own place. Bago man lang ako tamaan ng sumpa ng pagiging trentahin. I know I am ready, shet naman no, ang tanda ko na. Kung hindi ngayon, kelan pa.

Kaya isusumpa ko na rin muna ang mga taxi. Siguro naman after 5 years may pang-deposit na ko. Hehehehe...