Sunday, April 24, 2011

I Know What's Wrong

I have so much to tell, but for the life of me I can't wrangle it out. Whenever I log in here all the words disappear. Maybe it's time for a new blog? Tabula rasa. Clean slate. After all, I've gone to so much effort in ditching the negative things in my life.

I'll sleep on it. Maybe it will be different tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Yada Yada Yada Blah Blah Blah

I haven't forgotten. Well, maybe I have. Do we catch up, do we not? Either way, you probably don't care. Updating this blog was more of like avoiding a confrontation you know is going to be painful, you're just sure of it, but it has to be done; and after procrastinating so much and finally facing the confrontee you realize it's not really that painful.

I don't know what to say, really. The blank months were the farthest thing from being blank. I uprooted myself (again), this time on a grander scale. I finally went to New York. Yep, for real. Seriously. But you don't care about that. The last five months were spent adjusting and freezing my butt off. It was cold here. Still is.

In a few days it will be my birthday, and I think this is the first time that I actually don't give a rat's ass about turning a year older. I actually forgot about it until a few days ago. There are things far more important than my birthday, and every brain cell I have is occupied with that thing.

The stories I could tell about New York, but meanwhile, here are pictures.

The Mothership at 5th Avenue

Christmas Balls at 7th Avenue

Grandma's yard after the Great Blizzard

The Met Museum

Brooklyn Bridge

Donna Karan at F/W 2011 show

Lincoln Center scene during Fashion Week

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Monday, October 11, 2010

Pumbaa's Last Hurrah Up North

Glorious sunset at Poro Point La Union. I will surely miss Wow Philippines. Watch out for the whole post at House of Onika. Yes, because I now understand interior design.

My Salad. I really thought we're just having salad as it was mid-afternoon already. But what do I know.
There was steak! Medium.

Pumbaa checking in.

Nice ceiling.

The pool. But it's raining.

Saturday, October 02, 2010


In the next few weeks I will be doing a major unloading of unused and hardly used stuff. Short of tipping over my room, I would need several garbage bags and boxes to sort out things. I had been living in this apartment for almost six years now, and you know how things just pile up when you have the illusion of permanency.

The other night I was getting a change of clothes when I opened my closet and there was an avalanche of clothes. I'm only probably using less than half of what's inside it, so tomorrow those clothes are going to be categorized. It's a sad thing that we pass by people everyday who don't have decent clothes, yet a lot of stuff just sits inside our wardrobe. Some maybe I'll sell, some I'll just give away.

When I last moved (where I lived in a rented room) I couldn't believe how much unnecessary things I have accumulated over the years, gathered in such a small space. Now that I am sharing an apartment, there are a lot more to get rid of. I seriously don't know where to start. Maybe I'll begin sorting the piles on the floor.

I'm tempted to put up a table on the street and start peddling my wares, because almost all of these unused things will be sold. This is serious fundraising.

Friday, October 01, 2010

Confronting the Unavoidable

First of all, I am raised Catholic. My family from my mother's side are staunch church-goers. When I was living in my mother's hometown, my grandmother would wake us up at three in the morning to say the rosary with her. On the months of May and October, we would recite the rosary every evening, without fail. I know the Apostle's Creed and other long prayers by heart, and I can explain to you what  every mystery means.

As much as it was ingrained in my person, they're all memorized prayers. When I was younger I resented being woken up at dawn to pray against my will. I have great respect for prayer - if I can't put my whole heart in it, I'd rather not pray. I think it's an insult to God to have your mouth moving, saying those things in a mechanical way but your thoughts somewhere else. I don't get it.

I studied in a sectarian university, and I had taken 12 units of Religion in order to graduate. Again, it was imposed on me. Most of the time I thought it wasn't an education per se, but a heavy dose of guilt trip. I don't disagree with the basic principles, e.g. Jesus sacrificing himself to save us from eternal damnation, doing good, the Ten Commandments.

The Catholic Church had been waving their big stick over the country since the 1500s, and until now we're under their heavy doses of guilt-tripping us into submission. Religion is supposed to help you become a better version of yourself. But the way the Church is acting right now, they're losing fans.

Vatican's stand against birth control is of course echoed into the smallest of parish all over the world, but the Constitution is firm and definite on one thing: Church and State should be separate. CBCP's bullying of the President is childish, equivalent to a three-year old having tantrums because you won't let them whack your laptop. Finally, we have a president who's not afraid to go against what the Church says, and Bishop threatens him with excommunication.

Seriously, what happens when the church you grew up with cuts you off? Roman Catholicism is also known as the convenient religion, because you can show up to church or not and no one would know; unlike some who checks attendance and would even pay you a visit at home if you haven't shown up in a while. Would they block the President from entering a church? Deny him the sacrament? Is that what God would want?

Birth control shouldn't even be an issue - it should be made readily available by the government for those that require it, in a public health point of view. It's so much more than curbing the population, it's preventing the spread of diseases. If it's the Church's point of view that artificial contraception methods are sinful, then so be it. But don't bully the whole nation into getting them to follow their way. Not everybody is Catholic, and not everyone wants to risk having another kid they can't feed or send to school.

What bothers me the most is the uppity, self-righteous attitude CBCP is having. How dare you say that people who use artificial contraception are sinful, when the issues of priests worldwide molesting young children and having families are being ignored by the Pope? Don't cast the first stone, right?

This is not the 1500s. People think for themselves now, they don't follow blindly anymore. You can't spoonfeed your agenda on a country that's one of the most populated in the world, by ratio of land area and population. Have you seen how many children are on the streets and not in school?

To be clear, I am not against God or religion per se. What I don't like is organized religion, and all their agenda and power trips because they're so rich and powerful. Priests take a vow of poverty, yet the Catholic Church is one of the richest groups in the world, with vast properties, rare art collection, and the works. It doesn't jive.

I would still pray and have my personal relationship with God, but I refuse to be led to a path where closed minds are encouraged.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Well, Hey, Who's Six Today?

I can't believe this blog is six years old today. Technically, six years and one day. But it's still September 29 in some parts of the world, so it still counts.

Anyone who has read this thing from start to present (aside from me of course, but I doubt that such a person exists) would probably say I'm this crazy bitch who's always angry with the world. On the contrary, not at all. I am actually polite and kind of quiet when you first meet me; and if I like you, I would eventually show you my nasty, giggly self. It's true.

Since starting this blog I have gone through three different jobs, several breakups (yuh huh), and a lot of things in between that made my life beautiful, horrible, happy, sad, crazy and mundane--sometimes all at the same time. I have ADD, I think. I apply it to my everyday life.

The next few months will be spent in a frenzy, a good one. Because it's so characteristic of me to introduce drastic changes every few years to my life, I'm again embarking on the biggest adventure of my life. (I was actually reserving that line for when I get married, but I don't see that happening.) This one is of epic proportions.

Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, in honor of Abby's Spongebob Squarepants-themed birthday party, here is the sponge himself, smiling his creepy psycho smile that every pre-schooler loves.

The Bucket List, But More Like a Murtaugh

There is someone in my life whom I've known for a very long time, but unfortunately the planets were never aligned perfectly for us to be doing what friends do--see each other. Through the years we've made up this sort of Bucket List that we'll do when we're finally on the same GPS coordinates. It ranges from crazy to just plain wrong. Off the top of my head, here's what we've come up with:

Climb a tree in full scuba gear
Mud fight
Frost fight
Organize a jello wrestling contest for the hot girls in the neighborhood
Put up a trampoline for rent business with free alcoholic drinks
Eat hotdogs. And steak. And a big burrito.
Sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" together, with him doing the "Turn around..." bits
Me riding a hoverboard while he tries to destroy me with his laser eyes while riding a rocketship
Ice skate using roller blades
Ostrich racing (his idea)
Get drunk together (twice)
Horseback riding
Prank people using a broken iPhone

I'm sure there are more, but he was assigned to keep the list updated but I never saw it. And I am the boss of him so he has to do it. Right?

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Maybe This is Why People Have Kids

I spent the weekend at my sister's house, and come Monday morning I was lolling on the bed, not wanting to get up and leave the soft mattress. Joaquin was having his morning bottle beside me and making faces at me, while my sister was still sleeping. It was a lazy early morning.

Suddenly my back itched, somewhere I couldn't reach. I was trying to contort myself into several positions to get to the itch, when Joaquin suddenly said, "Ako na ninang. Saan ba itchy? Dito? Dito?" He was trying to scratch several places on my back and finally found it. For a very, very brief moment, I thought that maybe having kids isn't all that scary.

Monday, September 20, 2010

I Guess We All Grow Up

The wonders of Facebook never cease to amaze me. Has anyone ever noticed the proliferation of all sorts of reunions lately? Grade school, high school, college, ex-officemates--name it, I bet some sort of get-together and reminiscing had happened in the last year or so. Thank Mark Zuckerberg for bringing you all back together.

Earlier today I had a Friend Request from someone I absolutely don't know. Our mutual friends were all grade school classmates, but I still don't remember him. Maybe he thought I was someone else he went to school with. After a few minutes he sent me a message, asking me if I was indeed another girl, a namesake. I replied no, sorry, but wait I do remember you! Only I didn't actually type the second part of what I was thinking, which was "You sonofabitch how dare you forget who I am when we were mortal enemies for at least five years and we punched each other in the schoolyard and on the way home and in front of your house with your mother watching."

He was my nemesis; the Lex Luthor to my Superman, the Doc Oc to my Spiderman, and the Cruella de Ville to my 101 dalmatians. I hated his guts back then and I wished a hundred times for him to be found dead in a ravine somewhere. We bullied each other all the time, but however bad the name-calling got to be I never, ever cried in front of him. In the sixth grade life as I know it ceased to exist and I left everything I had in a heartbeat, including the devil boy.

Fast forward to 6 hours earlier today, when I corrected him and introduced myself. "Ah oo, ikaw yung mahinhin dati di ba?" He remembered my brother and our house but he remembered me as mahinhin. Really? I almost dropped a rock through your skull that one time you got hold of my schoolbag and threw it in muddy water. But I think he really doesn't remember, so I asked about his mother, who I liked because she would beat him up in front of me whenever she catches him bullying me. Both our lives had come a long way since then.

He's now married, with three beautiful children and is working overseas. Looking at his pictures, I would be scared of him now. Seriously, he looks like he could kill me just by having that mug. You wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley. I am glad we got over the fighting early on, because now I wouldn't stand a chance unless I had a gun and knew how to fire it. I'm not saying he's a goon, he just looks like one. And if he reads this, I'm truly dead.